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Crimson Sin (Rebel Heart Book 1) Page 13
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I bristled at the hard edge to his tone. `Enemy’ was right. Arrow was so caught up in the dark that he didn’t even know it was his own brother he sought to help them claim.
“I don’t believe you have the authority to tell me who I can spend time with. Free will, baby.” I repeated his words back to him, and he snatched his cigarette back with a snarl.
“Look, I know Rowen is a nice guy, and he’s dreamy and whatever, but you’d be doing yourself a favor by forgetting about him.”
“So would you,” I countered, starting to get riled up.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Arrow blew a puff of smoke in my face and studied me. “Do you know something that I don’t know?”
I was treading on dangerous territory. Telling Arrow what I knew might be a mistake, but if he knew, maybe he would be human enough to spare his brother the same hell he had to be living in.
Pulling my keys out with a loud jingle, I stormed around the car to the driver’s side, needing to get away from Arrow before I did something to really fuck things up.
“Oh no, you don’t.” Hot on my heels, Arrow grabbed ahold of my arm again, gentler this time. “Tell me what you know.”
It was my turn to study him. I searched Arrow’s eyes for anything remotely human. Despite his actions a few minutes ago, there was little compassion or caring in him. If it was there, it was buried deep.
“You really don’t know, do you?” I breathed, unable to hold the words back. It broke my heart to think that Rowen’s brother would knowingly drag him into something he would never escape from.
“Know what? Spit it out dammit.” Arrow tossed the remains of the cigarette and the joint, having attention only for what I might tell him.
He was unbearably close. My back was pressed against the Nova’s door with Arrow hovering too close for escape. My heart raced as I fought with the decision to tell him or to keep it to myself. If he didn’t know, he wouldn’t have a chance to do the right thing. What choice did I have?
“Arrow,” I said, tentative, knowing I couldn’t take it back once I said it. “Rowen is your brother.”
The moment that followed was heavy and long. He stared at me, unblinking. Then he started to laugh, a low ripple of noise that grew until his shoulders shook.
“You’re fucking with me,” he accused, his eyes lit up with a maniacal light as he chuckled. “Did your guardian tell you that?”
I was mildly surprised at his reaction. Also, somewhat concerned. “What could I possibly have to gain by lying to you?”
“How can that even be possible?” He leaned against the car, holding the door shut with a hand. “If you’re lying to me, Spike—”
“Your father was the only fallen to ever father more than one child. With two different women. And I don’t know why, but the dark is hell bent on having the both of you. Pun intended.” Annoyed at his intimidating proximity, I gave him a shove out of my personal space and turned to stick the key into the door lock.
Arrow lunged forward to grab the door as I opened it. “Wait,” he almost shouted. “Please. Just wait a minute. I’m trying to wrap my head around this.”
I turned to him with scrutiny. “You really didn’t know?”
With a slow shake of his head, he cast a glance back toward the gated house we’d just left. “No. I didn’t know. They told me to befriend him. To watch him until the time was right to bring him into the fold. They never told me anything else.”
Disgust filled me, and I let him see it in my eyes. “They dropped you into his life, and you just pretended to be his friend so you could bring him over to the dark side? Who needs enemies with friends like you?”
Arrow’s gaze darted about. He seemed confused and maybe even kind of scared. “You don’t understand. It started that way, but he really is my friend. I care about him. He’s like a…brother to me.”
Dropping the F-bomb like it was going out of style, Arrow turned away, pacing along the street beside my car. He pulled the cap off his head and ran a hand through his long hair. For just a moment, I felt sorry for him. Then I reminded myself of what a supreme prick he was, and the feeling faded.
I held the car door open, glancing uncertainly between the interior of the car and the dark nephilim cursing up a storm beside me. Part of me found some satisfaction in his torment. He deserved it.
As soon as I had that thought, I felt shitty about it. It wasn’t my place to judge Arrow or enjoy his pain. Yet I did, a little. Hey, I don’t claim to be perfect.
Feeling the need to offer some kind of advice, I said, “Arrow, you have an opportunity here. If you care about Rowen, don’t let the dark have him.”
“Oh right. Because it’s just that fucking simple.” Whirling to face me, Arrow’s eyes flashed a deep, drowning black. Then it was gone, and they were hazel again. “Do you have any idea what would happen to me if I got caught encouraging an undecided to join the light?”
I nodded, understanding where his torment came from. “I see. This is all about you and not at all about Rowen. That is exactly why he needs protection. I won’t be staying away from him. I don’t care what you threaten me with.”
Arrow stuck another cigarette between his lips and angrily puffed away. “Just leave, Spike.”
I didn’t wait for another chance to take off. Sliding into the driver’s seat, I stuck the key in the ignition and hesitated. “Hey, Arrow. Not everyone knows who Rowen is. You should try to keep it that way.”
He didn’t speak again, just watched me with the vicious stare of a predatory animal as I pulled a U-turn and vacated the rich neighborhood. I couldn’t do anything but leave Arrow to his thoughts. I hoped he made the right decision, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
Chapter Thirteen
Nerves racked me over more than just the next round of the battle. This was the first time all week that Rowen, Arrow, and I would be under the same roof. Keeping secrets from Rowen was brutal. I kept wondering if I should come clean about Arrow being his brother, but I knew that was Arrow’s secret to share. This was his choice, not mine.
Throughout the week Rowen and I had spent a substantial amount of time together. Though we weren’t an official item, we definitely had a thing, as Jett liked to call it. Every moment I spent with him drew me deeper down the rabbit hole. Against my will I was falling hard for the boy.
From what I could tell, Arrow had said nothing to Rowen about their shared parentage. It was discouraging. I didn’t think I could count on the dark nephilim to do the right thing. It wasn’t who he had chosen to be.
“We play first tonight,” Jett announced as she sidled up to me with a drink in each hand. “That sucks. I prefer to play last. Really bring things to a crashing halt.”
“So we set the bar high instead and make sure nobody even comes close to comparing with us.” It was too bad that beating Arrow meant beating Rowen. I was determined to have some victory to throw in Arrow’s face, even if it was only this one.
My nervous gaze kept going to the door as I anticipated the arrival of Molly’s Chamber. To Arrow’s credit he hadn’t yet shown the photo of me to Rowen. Perhaps he was saving it for something special.
“Would you chill out, Spike? Here, have a drink. You look like you could use one.” She shoved one of the two drinks into my hand. Her tone was gentle. She knew about the dilemma I faced. She was the only one who did other than Cinder.
Arrow walked into The Spirit Room then. My heart skipped a beat when I spotted Dash at his side. Demons rarely take on a corporeal appearance and walk openly. They usually moved unseen among humankind.
“What the hell is going on?” I muttered as my nerves skyrocketed.
Jett followed my gaze, her glossy, pink lips pursed in curiosity. “What’s up? Who’s that guy? He’s kind of hot.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s a demon. The one from the wedding Koda dragged me into. If he’s here, it has to mean trouble.” My palms grew sweaty, and I shoved the drink back to Jett. My stomach w
as far too fluttery for alcohol. Something told me it would be a very bad idea to consume intoxicants with Dash around.
“You look fucking amazing tonight.” Startling me, Rowen appeared from behind me, slipping an arm around my waist. He kissed me, a lingering press of lips that made Jett snicker. That swooning moment didn’t last long enough, and unfortunately it didn’t help me shake the increasing sense of dread.
I cast a glance down at my attire and smiled. “Thanks, babe.” Jean shorts over fishnets with black stilettos and a Rocket Raccoon tank top completed my look. A cross pendant hung from my neck, and my wrists were adorned in spiked bracelets.
Rowen was casual in jeans and a Misfits t-shirt. Chains hung from his pants, and his blue ’hawk was spiked up with that adorable long piece falling into his eyes. I wanted so badly to sweep it aside, but knowing Dash was there made me hesitant to touch him. His arm was still around me, and I cringed, awaiting the moment Dash would see and know Arrow had lied.
I pulled away, hoping it wasn’t obvious to Rowen that I was trying to escape him. It was for his own good though. Really.
“I hate to cut this short, but we play first, and I need to primp a little before sound check. Catch you later?” I grinned, doing my best to act normal.
“Yes,” Jett cut in, grabbing hold of my arm. “We need to have a little girl time before we rock your faces off. You’ll have to wait your turn, lover boy. Spike’s all mine right now.”
I let her drag me off, blowing him a kiss when I was sure Dash and Arrow weren’t nearby. In fact, where were they? A quick scan of the room didn’t reveal them. I had a terrible feeling about this.
“Jett, I don’t feel good about this. Dash is going to find out Arrow lied.”
“He doesn’t have to,” she said close to my ear to be heard. “Just play along. Do what you have to do.”
“In front of Rowen? I can’t climb all over his best friend in front of him because there’s a demon sniffing about. He’ll never understand.” My pulse raced, and I felt ill. Should I have told Rowen about the incident at the demon wedding?
As we passed the washrooms on our way backstage, I was grabbed roughly by the arm and yanked away from Jett. Inside the men’s washroom, Arrow pulled me into the corner behind the door and held up a finger for silence when I opened my mouth to ream him out.
“I couldn’t shake Dash when he insisted on coming here with me tonight,” he said in a rush. “I’m not sure what he’s up to, but if he sees you all over Rowen then he’s going to know we lied. Keep your distance until I can get rid of him.”
“That sounds more like it’s your problem than mine,” I hissed, feeling defensive and cornered.
“You think so? Pretty strong words for an undecided. If they don’t think I’m working on bringing you over to our side, then I’d say you’re in the same position Rowen’s in.”
“What do you care?” Being undecided was dangerous. I knew that already. Koda was a prime example of that danger. However, Arrow was right that I didn’t need another demon fixated on me.
Arrow’s face contorted into an ugly sneer. “I’m trying to save my own ass here. You might want to do the same.”
“And what about Rowen?” I demanded, hating Arrow for being so cold and selfish.
“Dash isn’t here for him. He’s here for us. In fact, as I was told earlier, we are under investigation for conspiracy.” Arrow was surrounded by a cloud of negativity. It seemed to feed off him or vice versa. I couldn’t tell.
His words chilled me. Conspiracy? The dark thought Arrow and I were plotting something?
“But why?” I murmured, more to myself than to him.
“Because we’re shitty fucking liars compared to demons who have existed since the beginning of time.”
No sooner had Arrow uttered those words than Dash appeared right behind him looking both angry and suspicious. Reacting quickly, Arrow kissed me, laying it on thick by slipping me some tongue. He tasted like cigarettes and beer. It was all I could do not to dry heave in his mouth. Faking my way through that kiss without punching him was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.
“Now get out of here before someone sees you in the men’s room, you naughty vixen.” Arrow followed up with a slap on my ass as he shoved me out the door.
Fuming but frightened, I met Jett’s quizzical expression with one of my own. With wide eyes I merely shook my head, afraid to say anything in case Dash heard. This was bad.
I rubbed a hand over my left butt cheek where Arrow had slapped it, wishing I could rub away the echo of his touch. I couldn’t shake the awful feeling that something terrible was going to occur.
Jett steered me toward the stage where we went through the motions of setting up our gear. Tash and Rubi hadn’t arrived yet, but I expected them at any moment. Once I saw Dash and Arrow take a seat with Rowen and the other Molly’s Chamber guys, I did breathe a little easier.
Jett said, “Maybe you should just tell Rowen everything, Spike. And maybe you should just make your choice already. Wouldn’t that solve some of this problem?” She stepped up to speak into the mike, stopping when the guy in the sound booth gave her a thumbs up.
“It might.” I shrugged and picked up my guitar, slipping the strap over my head. “I’m just afraid, you know. Once I choose and make that commitment, then everything changes. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
Jett glanced across the room to where Arrow sat between Rowen and Dash. The table of guys drank and laughed. Feeling my stare, Dash met my eyes across the distance. His expression was blank, but I knew without a doubt that he knew Arrow had lied, that he was here to catch us. I just couldn’t figure out why it meant so much to him. The dark clearly had trust issues.
“Being ready might not have anything to do with it,” Jett mused, spinning a large chunky bracelet on her wrist. “You’ve gotta do what you gotta do.” Jett jumped as her phone buzzed. After a glance at it she said, “Tash wants us to come out and help her unload the amps from the van.”
It was a welcome escape from the stifling confines of the rock club I’d once felt so comfortable in. I followed Jett out the side stage door, happy to escape Dash’s watchful gaze.
Having Dash in the audience sucked some of the joy out of playing. When the stage lights flashed on in time with the first note out of my guitar, I was painfully aware of the demon’s presence. Of course he wasn’t the only demon in attendance. Others, those that clung to people, whispering temptation in their ear and silently stripping them of hope for tomorrow, were hard at work, existing only for their task. They weren’t here for me. But Dash was.
I fumbled my way through the first song, unfocused and nervous. Jett shot me more than a few “what the fuck” looks. When Tash edged over with her bass and asked me if I was ok, I knew I had to get it together. Letting the band down was not an option. Dash was nobody. He could only steal my thunder if I let him.
That’s what I told myself as I prepared for the upcoming solo in the next song. It was a difficult piece that I had written during an especially emotional time. After a particularly bad night where I’d witnessed the repercussions of free will, I had gone home and let out the anguish through my guitar. Getting this piece right meant a lot to me.
Taking on odd jobs for Cinder had been my way of fitting into a world that I wasn’t sure I belonged to. It also meant seeing things that I could never unsee. One of those things was the body of a man who had hung himself after returning home from a tour of duty in the Middle East. He had been offered a choice. Death over life. Despair over hope.
There had been nothing I could do. Nothing even Cinder could do. I thought of that lost soul now, and I poured the echo of that memory into the guitar. I too had a choice. I could break under the pressure of Dash and the devouring darkness he represented, or I could bend and prove myself strong enough to stand up against the enemy.
The enemy? Had I already subconsciously made my choice? I knew I would never join the dark. Joining the l
ight intimidated me though. It would mean putting myself out there, risking pain and suffering to fulfill a greater purpose. What if I couldn’t hack it?
The spotlight followed Jett as she sang her heart out. Her tone was smooth, then gritty, growling out the anger of the lyrics. The crowd who had gathered around the stage jumped up and down, shouting and crashing into each other.
Feeling the weight of several gazes upon me, I took a deep breath, soaking in the power of the instrument in my hands. Never did I feel as alive as I did on stage with the magic of music flowing through me.
Right as I launched into the solo, Jett threw herself into the crowd, surfing atop the many hands that reached to hold her up. Closing my eyes, I gave myself over to the force inside me and let the solo explode out through my fingers.
It came out flawless, every note perfect, and it felt like my soul soared on wings I did not yet possess. I was breathless and sweaty when I reached the end of the intricate piece. And I was also renewed. The source of my strength was in the gift I’d been given. I met Dash’s watchful stare across the distance, and I smiled.
He would not reduce me to a quaking mess. With my head held high, I held his gaze long enough for him to see my intent. Perhaps I was unaligned, but I was not going to be easily coerced.
Emotion filled me: anger at the dark, disgust at Arrow, something like love for Rowen, and fear of all of that. Determination kept my head up and my gaze set on what was right. I’d made it through so much. I would make it through what lay ahead.
Our set ended with an explosive finish. A drum solo from Rubi rocked the house. As the stage lights went dark, Jett collapsed dramatically on the stage.
The sound of the crowd filled my ears and brought a happy grin to my face. Let’s see you top that, Arrow.
The emcee stepped up to the mike to encourage further applause as we exited the stage. Jett grabbed me in a crushing hug before doing the same to Tash and Rubi who both squealed at her superior wolf strength.