Crazy Bitch Read online

  “I’ll look into the whereabouts of your blood sample, Ms. O’Brien. You’ll hear from me soon.” She hung up abruptly.

  With a sigh, I tossed my phone on top of the dresser. Before I could overthink it and psyche myself out, I took off my clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

  “It’s about time.” Arys’s smooth voice echoed in the bathroom acoustics. “I was sure the hot water would run out before you got your sweet ass in here.”

  “Sorry. Had to take a call. Agent Winston wants to hire me to find Briggs.” My laugh was cut short as I swept back the shower curtain and my gaze fell upon Arys’s fine, naked form.

  My mind raced as I calculated how long it had been since I’d seen him like this. Too fucking long. I froze there, staring at him. It was like seeing him for the first time. Hard lines drew my gaze to his abs, the wide expanse of his chest. The arched curve of his hips led to muscular thighs. There wasn’t a single part of Arys that didn’t appeal to the eye. I dragged my attention back to his face to find him watching me with a playful grin.

  “My God, woman, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the hunger burn in your eyes like it did tonight. Even now, I can still see it there.” He shoved a wet lock of hair off his forehead and moved to share the shower spray as I stepped into the tub.

  “Oh, you like that, huh?” Hot water cascaded over me. The tight space meant Arys was pressed against me, wet and firm in all the right places. He wasn’t kidding about the hunger. I felt it, the burning need to feast on him.

  “Hell yeah. It was like looking at a much sexier version of myself.” He laughed when I pinched his arm. His expression changed, the smile fading. “Seriously though, nobody has made me feel like a victim since Harley. Until tonight.”

  A pang of guilt struck me. It was followed by confusion. Was I obligated to feel bad for finally turning the tables?

  “I’m sorry,” I said because I wanted to be. Victimizing Shaz always felt wrong even as it felt right, but victimizing Arys had felt damn good because it had been long overdue.

  “No, you’re not. And you shouldn’t be. I never am.” Arys grabbed the shampoo and squeezed some into his hand before turning me so he could lather up my wet hair. “It’s what we are. And as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of love seeing you this way.”

  Firm but gentle, Arys worked the shampoo through my hair. There was so much love and adoration in the act. It made me feel safe and secure, something I hadn’t felt with him in a while.

  “That’s twisted, Arys. We shouldn’t enjoy hurting each other…or being hurt by each other. It’s fucked up.”

  All that did was reinforce my belief that love was a mind fuck. Sappy stories of soul mates, babies, and picket fences were the kind of love society projected onto all of us. But love wasn’t so clean and tidy. It was messy. Dirty, complicated, and at times immoral, but without a doubt always beautiful in its own, fucked-up way. There was nothing else like it. Nothing else so powerful on this earth that people would kill for it. Die for it. Do anything they could to possess it, never realizing that in the end, love only possessed us.

  To love was to risk destruction of the worst kind. It was more than merely your heart on the line; it was the very essence of all that you are. It could make you better than who you were before, or it could make you worse. Or, it could just make you fucking crazy.

  “Don’t overthink it,” he admonished, turning me back to the hot spray of water so I could rinse the shampoo from my hair. “Your mind is racing. I can see it in your eyes. Trying to understand it will lead you down a rabbit hole you will never escape. In my time I’ve learned that it’s better to take joy where you find it and stop asking if it’s right or wrong. It just is. It’s what we do with it that matters.”

  “And what exactly does that mean?” I tried to focus on his face, but my gaze drifted lower. He was just too damn sexy, standing there naked with his wet hair plastered to his head and a bottle of conditioner in his hands.

  “It means that you think too much.” Arys guided me close again so he could massage conditioner into my hair. This gentle side of him made it easy to forget how dangerous he really was. “You’re wondering if this is love or if it’s just some misguided byproduct of the power we share. How can love be so dark and depraved as to make us hurt each other the way we do… and adore it? The question really is, how can we presume ourselves to be capable of defining love when we are but a mere pawn in its game, caught in its force. Just enjoy the ride, my wolf.”

  Like usual, Arys’s bizarre explanation made some kind of sense. I could pick it all apart over and over until my last day and never come any closer to understanding than I did now.

  “Love is never just love for anyone, but especially for us,” I said, plagued by an unwelcome memory.

  Lilah’s words echoed through my mind, haunting me with the reminder that our light would always be tainted. To hate that person as much as you love them. Oh, and how you love them. So much you start to hate yourself. Lilah had believed all twin flames were meant to suffer, that we were cursed. So often her claims tormented me, making me question it all over again.

  Arys turned me around to face him. His kiss was tender and delicate. “There is nobody else I’d rather be joined to until the end. The suffering, the pain, the piece of me that is always in torment over you, it’s all worth it. This moment, right now, this is worth it.”

  A swell of emotion had me throwing my arms around his neck, kissing him back with a desperation that nearly wrenched a sob from me. Having him back in my arms was like waking up from a nightmare and discovering that it was ok after all. Right then I couldn’t care how messed up we were or how much torment came from being a twin flame. All I knew was how whole I felt with him and how lost and abysmal I’d felt without him.

  “Don’t ever let me go,” I begged him, reveling in the way my hands so easily slipped over his hot, wet skin.

  “Never.”

  Much to my disappointment the hot water began to run cold. When there wasn’t a warm drop left to be squeezed from the faucet, we vacated the shower and sought out the comfort of my bed instead.

  In a tangle of naked limbs, we lay entwined beneath the cozy blanket. My wet hair made the pillow damp, but I barely noticed. Curled in Arys’s embrace, I savored the strength of his arms around me and the scent of my coconut bodywash on his skin.

  For a long time we didn’t say anything. Staring at the ceiling in my darkened bedroom, I watched dust motes dance in the tiny beam of sunlight that barely made it an inch beyond the heavy blinds on the window. It was probably time for me to move my bedroom to the basement, just to be as safe as possible.

  “I’m sorry,” Arys said, breaking the silence. “About fucking things up with Doghead.”

  He knew how bad it was, so there was no need to make him feel any shittier. “We’ll figure something out. Dayne doesn’t need to know who it was. This isn’t all on you. If I’d been there when you needed me instead of running amok chasing blood and mayhem, it wouldn’t have happened.”

  “That’s not true. It’s better that you weren’t there. We would have just done it together, and that would be much worse.” Arys dragged a hand through my tangled wet locks. His lips moved against my temple when he spoke.

  A shudder racked my insides as my heart skipped, and I snuggled in closer to him, needing to feel him pressed against every part of me. “We should’ve been together though. I shouldn’t have run.”

  “Stop it, Alexa. We could do this all day. I can say how I shouldn’t have sent you running straight to Sinclair, and we can both go back and forth stressing over what we should or shouldn’t have done until we just lay here feeling shitty.” His lips were warm as he kissed his way down to my neck. “I’m done with feeling shitty. Aren’t you?”

  I gave a silent nod because another swell of emotion had choked off my ability to speak. The emotional turmoil that had afflicted me since I turned was enough to last me half a dozen lifetimes.

  In a
n attempt to shut down the negative turn my thoughts had taken, I focused on Arys. The gentle caress of his lips on my neck. How hard and soft he was at the same time beneath my fingertips. The sense of fulfillment, of rightness, from just having him there with me. We were right where we were supposed to be.

  Chapter Twelve

  Much to my surprise I actually managed to sleep. It was a blissfully dreamless sleep. No Briggs and no recurring nightmares. Daymares? Whatever. For the first time in weeks, I felt almost content.

  The Ghostbusters theme song had almost finished when I realized my phone had woken me. I rushed to disentangle myself from Arys, nearly falling off the bed in my haste to get to the phone where it lay on the dresser.

  “Willow?” His name on the screen chased away any remnants of sleep. Now I was wide awake.

  “Salem will meet you at The Wicked Kiss in one hour. I know it’s short notice, but the fact that he wants to see you speaks for itself. Don’t be late.” His tone was abrupt and dismissive, like he had delivered his message and was about to hang up.

  “Wait, Willow,” I all but shouted. “Are you ok? I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t want to do it, but—”

  “You had no choice.” He spoke fast, cutting me off. “I only wish you’d done it sooner. I’m sorry I put you in that position. Better get moving. You don’t want to be late.”

  He did hang up then, leaving me staring at the phone. Willow didn’t sound right. Worry gripped me, but I didn’t have time to entertain it. I had one hour to get to The Wicked Kiss.

  “We have to go,” I said when I turned to find Arys watching me. “Salem is going to be at the Kiss in one hour.”

  “An hour?” He considered this with a raised brow and a smile that dripped mischief. “Ok, I can work with that. Get back into bed.”

  “Funny.” I rolled my eyes, but the smoldering stare he fixed me with tempted me to crawl back into the mess of blankets. We’d spent the day wrapped in each other. It had been perfect, just what I needed. Now he was looking at me with a desire that resonated in me, and it was all I could do not to climb all over him. “Don’t look at me like that, Arys. This is serious. We have to be there.”

  His chuckle was downright devious. With his hands behind his head, he watched me with the intensity of a cat watching a bird, waiting for that perfect moment to pounce. “We do. I know.”

  It got under my skin. Those midnight eyes always could make me weak. That hadn’t changed. I might have been the one in predator mode last night, but now it was all Arys.

  “Cut that out.” I threw a pair of balled up socks at him, whipping it fast, aiming for his head.

  He deflected the socks and sat up. The blanket bunched around his waist, baring his sculpted torso. Power radiated off him in waves, each bigger than the last as they crashed over me.

  I paused with a dresser drawer open and one hand inside. My quest for clothing was forgotten. The bloodlust hit hard and fast, bringing with it the insatiable appetite for power. Arys was power. I ran my tongue over a fang, jarring myself from the haze that had settled over me when I nicked the tip.

  “You’ve got that look again,” Arys observed, throwing back the covers. He rose with a fluidity that held my attention. “Power hungry. Possessive. Like you don’t just want to bleed me or fuck me, like you want to own me while doing it.”

  “Yes. I wonder where I get that from.” It was a battle to keep Salem at the forefront of my mind. Speaking with him was a must. If there was ever a time to master self control, it was now.

  Arys crossed the short distance between us with just a few strides. Capturing my face with a gentle hand, he forced me to meet his gaze. “You blow my fucking mind, my love. I can’t wait to discover all that you’re capable of now.”

  His kiss was wild and passionate. The shirt I held hung from my hand as I fell into him. Feeling the pull of his thrall, I pushed back against it with my own manipulative spell. A dizzying twist of erotic energy reached out to trap us both, prisoners of our own desire.

  Arys responded to my influence by upping the force of his own. It quickly became a playful battle of wills as we each sought to mesmerize the other. My face was flushed with desire when he pulled back.

  “Arys, we really have to get going.” My voice was husky with yearning for his power, blood, and body. I couldn’t decide which I wanted most. The beauty of our bloodline was that I could feast on all three. Unfortunately, not right now. I had places to be.

  The low timbre of his sensual laughter sent a shock of heat down my spine. It spread throughout my limbs, making my extremities tingle. “Show me what you can do, Alexa.”

  His kisses were teasing, accompanied by another power push that left me feeling lightheaded. Damn this man was amazing. I’d suspected that perhaps the way we reacted to one another would change after my death, and I’d been both right and wrong. It had changed, but rather than waning in any way, it had only grown more encompassing. The pull between us was magnetic, binding on a level deeper than the soul, if such thing existed. There were no words for what I felt as we draped each other in our power.

  “Arys.” I resisted, trying to calm the growing storm before it spun out of control.

  As he pushed a wave over me, he also pulled on my energy, creating a cycle that flowed between us. When he only encouraged the flow of force to grow in strength, I grabbed hold of it and wrenched control away from him. The sudden shift made him stagger and almost fall into me. Focusing my intent, I twisted the energy he’d summoned and spilled it over him like a waterfall of arousal.

  “Son of a bitch,” he groaned, gripping the dresser to steady himself. A lazy grin spread across his handsome face. “I always wondered what it would feel like to be enthralled by myself. Now I know. It’s fucking sensational. No wonder Falon is willing to be your pet.”

  That did it. The spell was broken, the fun of the moment dashed by a comment that hadn’t been wielded as a weapon but had felt like one just the same. Turning back to the dresser, I rummaged about for a pair of leggings.

  “He is not my pet.” My declaration was harsher than intended. “He was just a convenient way to get a fix.”

  Arys leaned against the dresser, making it difficult to ignore his nudity. “Hey, I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t love it. I still think it’s dangerous, but our entire bloodline is power hungry. Hell, we feed on each other. Don’t let it guilt you. It’s not worth it.”

  I jerked open the underwear drawer, forcing him to back up. His expression filled with wicked delight as he began to paw through my panties.

  “Are you kidding me?” I gaped at him. “How can I not let it guilt me? Kale refuses to talk to me because of that, and Shaz doesn’t know how the hell to feel about it. Making Falon my pet, as you like to call it, came at a price. That wasn’t worth it.”

  With a pair of flimsy pink panties in one hand, Arys turned those midnight fire eyes on me and shrugged. “The way Shaz and Sinclair see it, Falon did something to you, and you allowed it. But you and I know what really happened. He didn’t screw you. You screwed him. Mind, body, and soul. You made him yours as only we can. It was fucking phenomenal.”

  Stunned didn’t quite cover my reaction. I searched him for any sign that he might be joking. Nope. Arys was stone cold serious. Knowing he’d seen the video footage of Falon and me brought on a flood of embarrassment.

  “Shit, Arys. I don’t even know what to say to that.” His reaction to the video Briggs had sent out had been vastly different than anyone else’s. He’d been so understanding because he knew firsthand what my hunger was like. I hadn’t suspected he might have enjoyed it. How was I supposed to react to that?

  “Why are you so surprised? Don’t you remember Vegas? Watching you roll Jenner was one of the highlights of my existence. Damn, that was hot.” He held up the pink panties and gave me a flirty, lopsided grin. “Wear these.”

  With a shake of my head and a laugh I couldn’t suppress, I accepted the
pink underwear. “You’re bad, you know that? Sometimes I think we took it too far with Jenner. I’m not sure he deserved that, considering what you did to him.”

  “Oh, he definitely deserved that.” Shadows flitted through Arys’s eyes, gone as fast as they’d come.

  I slipped the panties on, keenly aware of his heavy stare upon me. I made sure to pose seductively for just a moment before tugging my leggings on. He pouted when my bra and shirt hid the rest of me from sight.

  Knowing better than to push the Jenner issue, I abandoned the conversation in order to do a hurried makeup application and run a brush through my blonde tangles. Those two had history that didn’t involve me. Better to just stay out of it.

  So Arys enjoyed watching me victimize other men, even using my body to do it. As I dragged a brush through my hair, I pondered this. It wasn’t exactly news to me. But did it go both ways? I thought of the many times I’d seen him with a victim. It had always stirred my desire, piquing the interest of the dark parts of me. Seeing him with Shaz had blown my friggin’ mind. The two of them together took my imagination to places I’d never been before.

  However, the wolf in me was all about loyalty. I didn’t want him using his body any more than he had to, nor did I want him to be fine with me using mine. Complicated didn’t seem to cover it.

  When I emerged from the bathroom, Arys was dressed and spinning his car keys on one finger. “I’m going to run to my house to get some clean clothes. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

  “Arys, wait.” I grabbed his arm before he could vacate the bedroom. “When you asked me if Falon was going to be a problem, was that because you thought it would be? I mean, should I be worried? I don’t want to form some fucked up addiction to that asshole.”

  What I didn’t say but still managed to hang between us was that I didn’t want my weakness to spin out of control like his had with killing the Doghead wolves.