Apocalyptic Read online

  So badly I wanted to tear my gaze from his. He’d see the wound he’d just caused. I didn’t want that. Too late.

  “I’m going to fix this,” I promised, voice raw with emotion I couldn’t rein in.

  An ugly scowl twisted my vampire’s face into something I didn’t recognize. “Maybe I don’t want you to fix this. Maybe I’m just done with it.”

  Cold. So damn cold.

  Knowing a fight was what he wanted, I turned away and fled up the stairs. It wasn’t really him speaking. That’s what I told myself. We’d flung barbs at each other before. This was nothing.

  It felt like everything. It felt like the end.

  * * * *

  Hours passed. I lay in my bed staring off at nothing. Blackout curtains kept the sun’s light outside. Shaz lay beside me, struggling to stay awake despite my insistence that he get some rest. Arys and I took a lot out of him.

  The man could only take so much. Eventually he succumbed to slumber’s demand. I glanced over at him, studying the outline of him next to me. His deep, even breathing comforted me. I wanted to be able to snuggle in against him and pretend that we didn’t really have my lover locked up in the basement.

  Thanks to constant dark urges, I also kind of wanted to tear his throat out.

  Shaz and Jenner had followed me upstairs after Arys chased me off. He needed some time alone with himself. Or maybe that was the last thing he needed.

  Jenner had lingered on the main floor. Heavy curtains kept the main floor dimly lit but free of direct sunbeams. He’d volunteered to make sure Arys stayed put. Shaz and I had gone to my bedroom where we’d talked for a long time.

  We both agreed we needed a short-term plan, a new keystone perhaps? Something to keep the spark of light I still possessed from being engulfed entirely. Still, that would only buy us a shred of time.

  I cursed Lilah and Salem, hating them both. Hating her for being exactly who she’d always been. Hating him for loving her anyway. For letting her ruin Arys and me.

  I’d cried to Shaz. He’d tried hard to be the rock, letting me fall apart. But I could see the cracks in his exterior. He was wearing down too.

  The entire time we sat on my bed holding each other and talking, all I could think about was Arys. Two floors below. Surrounded by concrete walls, stewing over how much he hated everything we were. Just like Lilah.

  Just thinking about it made me sick. It also made the incessant tugging in my fragmented heart that much more insistent. Unbearably so. That silver soul thread joining us rippled and shook. It gave me a headache.

  I needed to see him. Which was ultimately why I’d waited for Shaz to fall asleep. So I could slip from the bed in silence and go downstairs. Of course, I still had to get past Jenner on the main floor. Maybe he’d be passed out on the couch.

  After tugging on a pair of comfy, loose lounge pants and Shaz’s t-shirt, I left the bedroom without a sound. I paused at the top of the stairs, listening for Jenner. Voices from the TV drifted down the hall from the living room.

  Slow, picking my steps carefully, I eased down the stairs to the main floor. The basement was near the front door, the opposite direction from the living room. As long as he wasn’t in the kitchen, he’d never see me go down there.

  I reached the last step and kept going. My movements were sly and smooth. Soundless. I rounded the corner to the basement and came face to face with Jenner at the top of the stairs.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Arms crossed, he came at me, bumping me with his forearms in an attempt to herd me back down the hall.

  “Get out of my way, Jenner. I have to go to him, and I’m not going to let you stop me.” I let him back me up a few paces before I planted both feet and held my ground.

  When I moved to go around him, he moved with me. “No can do, Alexa. I need the two of you back in Vegas. Yeah, that’s selfish. I know. But it is what it is. If you go down there, neither of you will come up alive.”

  To be fair, Jenner was probably right. Also, yes, he was a selfish dick. I doubted he cared all that much about Arys and me. His biggest concern was saving his own ass back home. No, that was unfair. Jenner had been there for us back when Arys had killed me. He wasn’t all bad.

  Too bad for him, my dark side didn’t give a shit. I didn’t think, just acted. Throwing a hand in Jenner’s face, I guided the power with intent and dropped him like a sack of bricks. I tried to catch him on his way down so he wouldn’t smack his skull on the floor. Then I stepped over his unconscious body and took the basement stairs two at a time.

  Outside the heavy metal door, I stopped. I just stood there, staring at the tiny window, now closed. Feeling him there on the other side.

  Opening the door would be suicide. I just wanted to be close to him. With a hand against the cold metal, I sank to the floor. Drawing my knees up, I leaned against the wall next to the door and sighed.

  Hand pressed to the door, head dropped back against the wall, I let the despair take me. On the other side I felt him. A sudden shock of electricity zapped through my hand and up my arm. The door chilled beneath my touch, cooled from the other side.

  Arys’s hand was there, pressed to the door against mine. Just a few inches of metal between us. A single red tear rolled down my face.

  This couldn’t be us. Reduced to desperate caresses through a goddamn door. Because death awaited us both when we next touched.

  He couldn’t help himself. Not anymore.

  Without Salem’s help, I just couldn’t puzzle out how to repair the damage done. I didn’t want to give up the fight, but I couldn’t help the inner voice that wondered, Is it really over?

  “I need you,” I whispered.

  It felt like I was now in this fight alone. I couldn’t imagine how we’d make it through the next twenty-four hours, let alone beyond that.

  “I miss you.” Arys’s declaration coaxed forth a few more tears. First I heard it inside my head, his seductive whisper in my mind.

  Then it came from above. The window slot was open. Willow had warded the door when I suffered Shya’s curse. Falon had reinforced the ward since. Arys couldn’t use power to get out. The door had to be opened from the outside. It didn’t stop him from getting inside my head.

  He sounded like himself again. I wanted so bad to believe he was still in there. That it wasn’t just a devil wearing his face.

  “Please don’t leave me,” I begged, my plea ending as my voice cracked. On the floor, emotionally spent, I begged my twin flame not to give up. “I can’t do this without you.”

  “I’m right here.” A pause. “We should be together. I need to feel you.”

  The longing for him grew strong enough to make me nauseous. We had to be together. It wasn’t optional. We’d go mad without each other.

  We couldn’t be alone together either. One touch shouldn’t have been so risky. Was it a risk worth taking?

  I jerked my hand from the door. Listening to his alluring tone encouraged me to go to him. To open the door and fling myself in his arms. To hell with everything. If destiny wanted us, it could take us. I was done fighting.

  No, that wasn’t me. I didn’t give up. Not until it was over.

  This was not over.

  When I didn’t respond, Arys said, “Come to me, my wolf. Let me love you.”

  The simplest of requests uttered with sincerity and want. As if I were hypnotized, I reacted. So easily he’d gotten in my head. He lived there. I was too dark to resist him now.

  Pushing to my feet, I grasped the door handle. My fingers worked the locks. First one, then another. There were half a dozen.

  Before I could flip the last few, Shaz flew down the stairs in a blur, shouting my name. He body checked me, knocking me away from the door. He relocked every lock I’d opened, slammed the window shut, and grabbed me none too gently.

  A commotion on the other side of the door got us both moving. Arys melted down, pissed off that his attempt to be sweet and manipulative had been thwarted.


  Shaz dragged me along with him up the stairs.

  Jenner sat on the floor at the top, rubbing his temples. He glanced up with a scowl as we passed.

  Once we were back on the main floor, Shaz crushed me against his chest, stroking my hair. “Lex, what the hell were you thinking?”

  “I was thinking that I can’t stand to be away from him for another second, and I don’t care how it ends anymore.” Apathetic and listless, I stared at my white wolf, wondering why I couldn’t bring myself to care as much as he did. “I’m tired, Shaz. Tired of all of it.”

  “No. It’s not ending that way.” He shook his platinum head, hands shaking with adrenaline as he held me. “No fucking way. Not on my watch.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Alright already,” I snapped. “I’m going.”

  Temper short, I threw my phone into my bag and glanced about for the Dragon Claw before questioning if I was in the right frame of mind to have it on me. I might stab it through just about anyone at this point.

  “Lex, you know you can’t be here with him. We just spent the entire afternoon talking you down from the ledge. Go to Willow and decide with him what our next move should be.” Ignoring my angry stomping about, Shaz grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. “I’ll come with you.”

  “Like hell you will.” Perched on a stool at the kitchen island, Jenner shook his bleached blond head. “Nobody should be left alone with Arys at this point. If you both leave, I’m leaving too.”

  I had to agree with that. Arys was too dangerous to be alone with. So was I. Which was the main reason I couldn’t let Shaz get in a car with me. If Jenner hadn’t been with us all afternoon, I’m pretty sure I’d have taken a bite out of my wolf.

  Not the good kind either.

  When I nodded my agreement, Shaz relented. “Fine. I’ll stay with Jenner. Keep in touch. If you don’t check in, I’m coming to find you.”

  “Ok.” I accepted his kiss, both ashamed and delighted by the sudden urge to throw him down beneath me and drain him dry in more ways than one. When we pulled apart I averted my gaze so he wouldn’t see the darkness in my eyes.

  Shaz walked me to the door and waited in the open entryway while I descended the front steps. “You’re going to make this right, Lex. I know you will.”

  His confidence put a genuine smile on my face. I only wished I could be so sure. Pausing near my car, I said, “The only reason Arys and I made it this far is because of you, Shaz.”

  Driving away from the house, from my dark flame, it killed me. I hit a train crossing through the middle of town. Forced to a stop as it flew by, I considered turning around and going back.

  Back to my house, to Arys. To whatever lay in store for us.

  A glance in my rear-view mirror showed a few cars behind me. No problem pulling a U-turn. Everything inside me demanded that I go back to Arys.

  “Don’t even think about turning around.” Falon’s voice from the passenger seat startled me. At my screech, he laughed. “Why so surprised? I told you I’d be stuck to your ass once the sun set.”

  “Do not startle me like that.” I punched him in the arm with the strength of my irritation. “I’m walking a very fine line tonight.”

  He winced and rubbed the spot below his shoulder. “Then I showed up right on time. Where are we headed?”

  The train came to an end. I stared straight ahead, focusing on the road in an attempt to tune out the inner demand to return home. “The Kiss. To see Willow. I need a new plan and I need it now. Arys and I may not last another night.”

  “I’m a little surprised you made it through the day actually. How did that go?” Totally nonchalant, Falon adjusted his seat, getting comfortable.

  The sense of chill he projected didn’t quite make it into his question. It sounded too genuine. Like he actually cared.

  “Don’t do that,” I huffed, fingers tightening on the wheel. “Don’t pretend to care.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to look at me. Since I didn’t want to drive off the road, I couldn’t make out the expression he wore. I felt studied. Assessed. I did not like it.

  “Maybe I do care. Would it bother you?” A challenge in that loaded question but also curiosity, Falon taunted a beast with teeth who would use them.

  I scoffed, forcing some extra disgust into the sound. “Of course it would bother me. Since when do we care about each other?”

  Merging onto the highway increased our speed, keeping me from having to glance his way. I busied myself with shoulder checking and following all road rules like a good little license-toting werewolf. Anything to play off the uncool, serious vibes the angel brought with him tonight.

  “I don’t know, Alexa,” Falon said after a moment of contemplation. “You tell me. You’d never have gone off on someone like Bane if you didn’t care.”

  Now that was a ballsy thing to say. It tripped me up. Kind of ticked me off too. Falon was asking for a world of trouble.

  Murderous thoughts flitted through my mind, bringing a devious smile to my face. “Have you ever had your heart ripped out and shown to you, Falon? Think I could pull it off before you disappeared back to the other side?”

  His sexy chuckle reminded me of a king size bed in a four-star hotel with a killer bathtub. “You’re a riot, you know that? Giving a shit whether you live or die doesn’t mean I loathe you any less. In fact, the more I give a shit, the more I loathe you.”

  I thought about that for a moment. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

  The rest of the drive into the city center to The Wicked Kiss was spent with Falon needling me every chance he got and me threatening every colorful form of violence I could dream up. By the time we arrived, he’d succeeded in coaxing a genuine laugh from me.

  The second I walked into the nightclub, I was hit with the harsh reminder of how dire everything had gotten. As I entered with Falon at my side, every vampire in my path all but flung themselves out of my way. Even Justin gave me a wide berth as I passed through the lobby.

  “What’s that all about?” I wondered, worried they all knew something I didn’t.

  “Are you kidding?” A fine brow arched in disbelief, Falon looked at me like I’d said the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. A look I received often from him. “I’m shocked you aren’t spewing black fire out your fingertips. You reek of darkness. Your eyes are blue and your hair has a black streak. If I were a vampire, I’d be getting the hell out of your way too.”

  I jerked to a halt, causing a waiter following us to do a little jig in order to avoid spilling the tray of drinks he carried. “There’s a black streak in my hair?”

  In a panic I flipped my hair over a shoulder and sifted through it. There was indeed a chunk of black mixed in with my ash blonde. I followed it up the side of my head, an inch or two back from the front.

  When did I last look in the mirror? This morning? I’d been in such a rush to leave the house with Shaz ushering me out the second the sun sank out of sight. Wouldn’t he have said anything if he’d seen it? The blue eyes, ok that had been happening for a long time. But my hair? No deal. That’s where I drew the line.

  “I can’t fucking believe this,” I muttered, staring at the black strands twisted in with the blonde. The same raven shade of Arys’s hair.

  Salem came to mind, and the lock of Lilah’s hair braided into his hair. At least, I’d always assumed it was her hair. Maybe it was just her darkness, taking over him. Son of a bitch!

  “Don’t sweat it. Let’s go talk to Willow.” Taking my elbow, Falon forced me to get moving to avoid being dragged along beside him.

  Willow watched us approach, his face so perfectly neutral that I knew it was fake. Whatever he thought of my current state, he was keeping it to himself. With a word to the familiar woman at his side, he left her to join us.

  Two nights in a row with the pink-haired lady? Interesting.

  “I’ve been worried sick about you,” Willow said, keeping his distance. Whe
n our eyes met, his pupils dilated. I’d barely breathed in his direction.

  “I don’t know what to do, but I need to do something, and I need to do it fast.” I also needed to slaughter every human in the place. My gaze wandered as I eyed up a broad-shouldered guy near the pool tables.

  Not a single vampire dared to meet my stare. They busied themselves, escaping to a back room or the dance floor. Anywhere that wasn’t near me.

  Willow pinned Falon with an accusing scowl. “Was that really necessary?”

  For a moment I didn’t know what he meant. Right. The silver feather on my neck. Not nearly as concerning to me as the black in my hair. I’d willingly accepted the feather.

  “Bane wants her, Willow,” Falon shot back, venom in his retort. “Do you have a better idea?”

  “Marking her like your fucking property would not have been it.” Willow’s temper flared the way it always did around Falon. His proximity to me seemed to enhance it.

  “So what’s your better idea? I’ll gladly remove it if you can come up with one. It’s not like you can mark her for protection anymore.” Falon was all too happy to deliver that low blow.

  Annoyed by their bickering, I waved a hand to cut them off. “Could we maybe worry about Bane when he’s actually the most immediate problem? Because if I go full dark side, I’ll probably join him just for the fun of it. Priorities, guys. Leave your egos out of it.”

  “Just tell me one thing,” Willow said, ignoring the dirty look the fallen angel shot him. “Did you allow it?”

  “Yes, Willow. He did not force it on me. Otherwise I’d be standing here with his ball sack in my hand.” Both men shrank back at my flippant remark and its colorful visual. “If you help me not lose myself completely, then you can rip me a new one about the mark later. Ok? But I don’t have that kind of time right now.”

  Hell no I didn’t. Everything about Willow was setting me off. His hybrid vibe created an itch beneath my skin. An itch I could only scratch by tasting him.