How To Be Deadly (Rebel Heart Book 4) Read online

  “One of these days I’m going to let the two of you kill each other.” Rowen released Arrow with a shove. “Have a little self control, huh?”

  Breathing hard, Arrow glared at his brother from behind the chunk of black hair that had fallen in his eyes. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you heard what he said to Spike.”

  Rowen glanced at me. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. “It doesn’t matter, Arrow. He’s not worth it.”

  “What did he say to you?” Rowen asked.

  Under the weight of his amber gaze, I felt sure that he knew what Arrow and I had been up to. “It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged and offered him what was left of the joint. “It’s just Paul. He’s an idiot.”

  Rowen plucked the spliff from my fingers like he was afraid to touch me. “Fine, whatever. Arrow can you go order drinks? We’ll be down in a second.”

  Oh boy. My stomach dropped. Not good. Not good at all.

  Arrow eyed me, waiting for my reaction.

  I gave a slight nod. “Can you grab me a vodka and sprite? Make it a double.”

  “Yeah, no problem.” Because there wasn’t a damn thing he could say or do that wouldn’t make this more awkward, Arrow stalked to the stairs and headed down.

  “So… How’ve you been?” Could I possibly be any more cringy.

  “Good. Can’t complain, I guess.” Rowen kept his distance, lingering on the other side of the room. Glad I wasn’t the only one who felt the strain.

  Those amber eyes, they gutted me. I still missed him. Maybe I always would. Mostly I missed what I’d wanted us to be, but we’d never actually been that. So really, I missed an illusion. A fantasy.

  Rowen dragged on the joint until it was but a nub and stubbed it out in the ashtray on the table. “Look, Spike, I just want you to know that even though we’re not together anymore, I’m still here for you. If you need anything, ever, just say the word.”

  “I appreciate that,” I said, relieved that he hadn’t mentioned his brother. “And I hope you know that you can count on me too. We’re kind of all in this together. Despite everything, I’ll never stop caring about you.”

  With a solemn nod, Rowen sat on the arm of the couch. “I respect that you can’t be with me. I know I let you down and I’m sorry. But I still love you.”

  “Rowen, don’t do this. Not again. I don’t want you to be sorry.” A double shot of vodka wasn’t going to be enough after this. “I should probably give your ring back.” The angel wing ring he’d given me right before breaking my heart sat at home in a safe place. It had never really been mine.

  “Keep it,” he said, surprising me. “I wanted you to have it because of how I feel about you. I still feel that way, so I still want you to have it. I’m not getting rid of this either.” He lifted his shirt to flash me a glimpse of the tattoo above his hip. My name. In Lord of the Rings Elvish.

  Seeing the beautiful design made my heart hurt. My mouth went dry, and I didn’t know what to say.

  We were interrupted by the guys in the band that was set to play next. They swarmed in, drinks in hand, voices loud. They provided an escape at just the right time. Because if I didn’t get out of there, I might start to question things I thought I’d already answered.

  The first genuine love of my life had broken my heart and left me when I needed him most. Now he had the nerve to confess his continued love for me and commitment to a tattoo of my name. We were over. I’d bonded with someone else. With his brother.

  I shouldn’t feel so torn.

  Damn, I needed a drink. Actually I needed Jett to talk me out of this funk. The loud noise and thick crowd kept Rowen and I from having to speak as we sought out our friends. Sam, Jett, and Arrow were gathered around Jett’s favorite table.

  A cute brunette flirted with Arrow. He smiled at whatever she said, but when she got too close, he shook his head and gently warded her off with a hand. Denied. Huh. What the hell did that mean?

  We hadn’t agreed to be exclusive. Hell, we hadn’t agreed to be anything. No labels. But he’d just shot down a sure thing, and I fell a little bit harder seeing it happen.

  I joined them at the table, sliding into a chair between Jett and Arrow. I wasted no time sucking down the drink waiting for me there. If I ever needed a night to unwind, it was tonight.

  Rowen didn’t join us. He brushed past, going to a different table where Greyson and Maggie sat with another group of people.

  “All good?” Arrow asked. Beneath the table his hand found my thigh.

  I nodded and basked in the warmth of the alcohol as it spread through me. “Just an awkward ex moment, but I expect we’ll be having a lot of those for a while. It’s no big deal.” Dropping my hand below the tabletop, I caught his fingers in mine.

  Jett whooped as a waitress brought over a tray of shots. So it was going to be one of those nights. A few tequila shooters and my stress melted away. Maybe Jett had been right after all. Maybe we could balance this crazy life we led. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. But either way, tonight would be a demon-free night of hanging with my friends.

  Well, except for one demon. Koda. He stood near the door, surveying the place. Across the distance our eyes met, and then he turned to leave.

  “I’ll be back,” I said, jumping up to go after him.

  Koda quickened his pace as he exited. Seeing as he could’ve simply poofed and been gone, I suspected he wanted me to follow. That was fine. I had something to say to him.

  EPILOGUE

  “What do you want, Spike?”

  I followed Koda to where the street met the parking lot. “To talk. If that’s ok.”

  He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his heavy leather jacket. “So talk.”

  Right away my gaze was drawn to the scar slashing down the side of his neck. Ruthless had left its mark on Koda. Because he’d come to my aid despite being a demon who wanted nothing more than to make me his.

  “I just wanted to thank you for showing up that night with Wren. I’m not going to pretend to know why you did it or make any assumptions. But I appreciate what you did.” Seeing Koda, seeing that scar, it brought to mind what Wren had said about Koda’s love for me weakening him.

  Sure Koda had an obsession. But love? Could someone like Koda genuinely feel love? I’d felt it though, the night my empathy tapped into him. It was twisted and unnatural, but it had presented itself to me as authentic emotion. Why else would someone so evil do something as selfless as coming to my aid that night?

  “Yeah sure, whatever. It was nothing. He was out of control. I did what I thought I should do.” Koda brushed it off, refusing my gratitude.

  Perhaps I didn’t have enough liquor in me for this conversation. Koda stared down at me, wearing an expectant expression.

  “Well, thanks anyway.” Wishing I hadn’t followed him outside, I turned to go back in. Talking to Koda would never get easier. And since when the hell was thanking a demon a good idea?

  He let me take about three steps before calling my name. “Spike. Just to be clear. I don’t love you. Wren said that for Cinder’s benefit. He knows how much Cinder hates me.”

  Liar. Did he not know what I’d seen in him that night? “Right. I wouldn’t have thought otherwise.” No argument here. Koda could keep up his lies. I had no interest in his truth.

  Sure he’d been assigned to me, to do what he could to sway me over to the dark. But things had changed with Koda since I chose the light. And even more so since I kicked Dash’s ass and drove him out of town.

  I suppose I should’ve kicked Koda’s ass too, but it hadn’t occurred to me. Over the years I’d gotten used to his constant presence. I’d become somewhat complacent.

  The weight of his heavy scarlet gaze followed me back inside. Koda was deadly. Forgetting that would be stupid. If he indeed had developed some twisted form of love for me, it might just make him more of a threat than I’d given him credit for. I’d have to watch my back as far as Koda was concerned.

  On my
way inside I passed a demon who lurked near a group of people smoking outside. A black-eyed bottom feeder, likely here to prey on typical human weakness, I saw a lot of these types in places like this.

  He took one look at me and held both hands up before backing away.

  I did a double take. Wait, what? A glance behind me revealed nobody. So his reaction had been to me?

  Mind blown I went back inside The Spirit Room, marveling at the reaction I’d just received. I wasn’t going to let it go to my head. For every bottom feeder who chose not to engage with me, there’d be half a dozen heavy hitters who did. It felt good though to have earned some kind of reputation among them. It meant I was doing something right, and that kind of encouragement went a long way right now.

  There would always be more demons. But now I was starting to believe I belonged. That I could really do this. Not alone though. Having Jett, Rowen, and Arrow alongside me in this made sense. I understood completely why Cinder wanted it this way.

  I also worried for Arrow. Seen as a traitor to his kind but unwilling to abandon the dark, he put himself in a precarious position. Now involving myself with him romantically had put me in one too.

  Regardless of the immortal bloodline we descended from, we were ultimately human. Very much so. Imperfect and flawed. Pressuring myself to be anything but would be futile.

  Returning to my table I passed Rowen. He had a groupie hanging on his every word. I knew that he was aware of me, but he did a great job avoiding eye contact. Going forward I hoped we could find a sense of ease with one another. I knew now why Cinder had been wary of me getting involved with either brother. He’d known what I had to learn the hard way: Once emotions got involved, there was no going back.

  Even though summer was a few months away yet, we would be on tour together, living out of buses and visiting a new city each night. A dream we all shared. I hoped it would get easier to watch groupies throw themselves at Rowen by then.

  Jett thrust a shot glass at me the moment I resumed my seat at the table. “Come on, Spike. You’ve gotta catch up.”

  I accepted the shot and the one after that. Leaning in close to Arrow so that my lips brushed against his ear, I purred, “Come home with me tonight.”

  Arrow pulled my hair aside and daringly kissed my neck before saying, “Anything you want, angel girl.”

  “You guys are not nearly as inconspicuous as you think you are.” Jett squirmed on Sam’s lap, sloshing her drink all over the table. “Might want to try harder. You’re so obvious.”

  Her loud, obnoxious observation had me checking to see if Rowen was still occupied. He was. Not paying a lick of attention to our table.

  “Let’s go now.” I tugged on Arrow’s hand. “Unless you want to stay.”

  He was off his chair before I could finish speaking. Jett nagged and cajoled us to stay, but we couldn’t be convinced. Once we were in a taxi on the way to my place, the restraint we’d placed upon ourselves vanished. The driver must have seen much worse than a backseat makeout because he didn’t even react.

  Wren had been moved to the prison realm where escape was all but impossible. He should have been there all along. Ruthless had been given to Cinder who wouldn’t speak of its whereabouts. I was unafraid again in my home. Rowen and Arrow had returned to Cinder the feather Wren had taken from him.

  Both Rowen and Arrow had set aside their differences, as they always did. They’d been getting along since the night of Wren. They had fought well alongside each other, and I suspected that had united them, reminding them that they shared more than feelings for the same woman.

  They shared blood. That meant more.

  This reprieve would be short, I knew. I’d come to learn that this city didn’t rest. Hell, it didn’t even breathe between disasters.

  There would be another. And another after that. And I would be right there when it all went down.

  ~~~~~

  Spike’s story continues in Rebel Heart Book 5, Thief.

  ~~~~~

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Trina writes urban fantasy that is dark and gritty with a twist of romance and horror but which is ultimately about people in dark places discovering who they are and what they’re made of.

  A lover of rock music, vampires, and muscle cars, Trina is a dreamer who always secretly wanted to be a rockstar. She lives in Alberta, Canada, with her bass player husband, fierce ukulele playing daughter, and three annoying but super cute cats.

  Trina loves to hear from readers, so don’t hesitate to drop her a line.

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  TrinaMLee.net

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  Table of Contents

  TRINA M. LEE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  EPILOGUE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR