Apocalyptic Page 5

  “No, of course not.” I pulled her into a hug that filled my nose with jasmine perfume and wildcat. “Do whatever you need to do. It’s just a house, Jezzy. He barely spent any time there anyway. You can let it go. It doesn’t mean you’re letting him go.”

  I’d gone through this myself when making the choice to clean out his room at The Wicked Kiss. Like he’d never even been there. It hadn’t healed any wounds though. I still had to walk past that room every night. Memories like that, they don’t fade.

  She hugged me tight enough to squeeze a squeak from me. “I know that. It’s just so hard. I know it’s hard for you too.”

  “It will be ok. You can do this. Let me know if you need any help with anything.”

  Jez pulled back, and her brilliant red smile fell in place. “Since you mentioned it, I could use a hand cleaning the place out. There’s not a lot in there, but there’s a bunch of boxes and stuff in the basement. I’m going to donate the furniture.”

  Eyes narrowed, I assessed her coy smile. “You baited me into that one.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Arm in arm, she dragged me back to where Smudge and Gabriel stood awkwardly, doing their best to look at anything but each other.

  Jez and Smudge went on their way, leaving me and Gabriel to stand awkwardly. His energy made the atmosphere rife with tension. It felt sharp. Negative and annoying.

  “I’ll find her, Alexa. I know a few places I can check. The second the sun sets, I’ll be out there.” He dragged his gaze from mine, like he didn’t want me to see something in his eyes. “I might even have a spell I can try, to locate the energy signature of her spell and break it.”

  “You can do that?” Knowing he didn’t want me to see something, I searched him. His dark gaze revealed nothing. His energy, however, ran in frantic leaps and jumps. Anxious and desperate.

  This kid became more interesting every time he revealed something new about himself. No, not a kid. Twenty. A young man in his prime in so many ways. He’d already been powerful in his own right as a black-magic, precognitive witch. Arys had made him a masterpiece of darkness.

  “I can try.” A half shrug. A frown tugged his mouth into something pouty and sensual. “I can’t promise anything.”

  “And when you find her?” I asked, curious. Testing him. “What then?”

  I expected him to make a bold claim to kill her. To do away with the mistake he’d made as I’d been tempted to do with Briggs. As I was still tempted to do.

  But Gabriel wasn’t easy to read, and there was no anticipating his reactions. He continued to take me by surprise. “Whatever you want,” he said, passing the test with flying colors.

  It wasn’t the answer I’d wanted or expected, but it told me all I needed to know about Gabriel right then. Sure, he could be playing me. He’d gone to the dark side once, and that kind of thing couldn’t be forgotten. But my gut said he was genuine.

  Cutting through the swath of strange hanging between us, I advanced on him. Like a predator on the prowl. Extending a finger tipped with a claw, I ever so lightly stroked beneath his chin.

  He stared into me like a deer caught in the headlights. Eyes wide, pupils drowning black. The high-strung energy thrumming around him warmed at my touch, growing softer. Malleable in my hands. A pulse from me to him, a shot of pure succubus. He didn’t resist, instead opening himself fully to my seductive vibes. And he didn’t resist when I brought my lips to his.

  The dark voice had abandoned its chant for me to kill him. Now it wanted me to dirty him up every which way I could first. The same push and pull of sex and death that ran rampant through Arys tempted me in the worst of ways.

  I had to be stronger than Arys.

  I told myself that as I kissed Gabriel. Soft at first, then hungrily. I had to taste him.

  He fell hard under my thrall. An incubus of his caliber could have fought the pull to some extent. Gabriel had never wanted to. He let me roll him and in return gave me that flood of lust I sought.

  Everything about him felt dark. Tasted dark. Like shadows and sin. I could drive him wild. Blow his fucking mind. And God how I wanted to. I’d have loved to blame it on Arys’s hungers, but this was all me.

  Gabriel kissed me back like a man who knew what he wanted. He teased me with the tip of his tongue, darting it against mine before pulling away. Feeding my hunger. His hand on the side of my neck held me close as he devoured my mouth. Though he may have been content to follow my lead on a hunt or a kill, he had no such intent here. Gabriel took command of the kiss, fogging my brain with his heady vibes.

  With effort so great it hurt, I pulled away. I could take him right here. Nobody was around. We both wanted it.

  But my control was compromised even more now than ever before. Giving in because it felt good didn’t mean it wouldn’t come without repercussions.

  My harem of lovers was small as far as succubi and incubi go, and I wasn’t too keen on adding to it without care and consideration. Flying off the handle led to hook ups like Jenner, whom I could deal with. But Gabriel? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  I dragged my clawed fingertip over his chin, pressing it against his bottom lip. Damn did I ever want to just eat him up. All that power to play in.

  Holding his deep brown gaze, I said, “Show me I can trust you. Show me you’re not everything I’m afraid you are.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  All I could smell and feel was wolf. I snuggled in deeper beneath the blankets, pressing tighter against Shaz’s naked warmth. An hour after sunrise I’d stepped out of the shower to find him waiting in my bed with a fresh vampire bite and a grin. A pleasant surprise indeed.

  We’d spent the better part of the morning enjoying one another. A slow, thorough lovemaking that was all about touch and emotion and not at all about blood or power. It was exactly what I’d needed. Being alone with Shaz returned me to my roots. I felt alive with the wolf inside. Curled up in my king-size bed, we absently watched daytime TV and just enjoyed being together.

  “I’ve been looking forward to this all night.” Shaz’s husky whisper tickled the back of my neck. He spooned me, aligning his body to mine so he hugged my every curve.

  One arm slung over me, I held tight to it, gliding a finger lightly over the thick veins in his forearm. “Nothing makes me feel like myself again the way you do.” I brought his hand up so I could brush my lips over his fingertips. Closing my eyes, I soaked in the liveliness of him. The man and wolf, my true companion. My soulmate.

  I’d once scoffed at such a term. But I believed it now with every part of me. Arys and I would never have made it this far without Shaz. He was our everything.

  The bite Shaz bore made me wonder what had gone down between them, aside from the obvious. Arys had gone to Shaz in a moment of desperation and need. It reassured me to know that they were strong enough to face Arys’s dark urges together. Because I sure as hell couldn’t help him with that.

  “How’s Arys?” I finally asked, afraid of the answer.

  “Kind of a mess.” Shaz’s soft answer moved the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. “Could’ve been worse though. He kept his shit together when he came by Doghead. I made sure he got home. I left his place at sunrise.”

  Hugging his arm to me, I half rolled over so I could cast a glance back at him. “We would be lost without you, Shaz. That’s why Willow chose you to be our keystone. Even without his help, you kind of already were.”

  He kissed the side of my nose and rolled me all the way over so I was flat on my back. Raising himself up on an elbow, he planted another kiss on the edge of my mouth. “I know how this goes now, Lex. With Arys it’s different than with you. Kind of like the other side of the coin, so to speak. But I know I belong with you both.”

  My gaze strayed to the two small punctures marring his perfect skin. I thought about Arys’s confession of his love for Shaz. Something I’d sensed developing recently but looking back realized it had started long ago, even before o
ur Vegas visit.

  That was Arys’s information to share, not mine. So I held my tongue. What I didn’t know for certain was Shaz’s feelings towards Arys.

  “Does that mean you believe Kylarai’s theory?” I teased, running my fingers over his side where he had a ticklish spot.

  He caught my hand before I could coax a laugh from him. Pursing his lips, he shook his head in a teasing, flirtatious manner. “As much as I hate to say so, I don’t think I have much choice but to believe it. I can’t argue it.”

  I laughed at the melodramatic pout he affected. Gently I traced around the edge of one of the two small puncture wounds he bore. “No, I don’t think you can. Not anymore.”

  Peering down at me with those serene jade eyes, Shaz appeared thoughtful. He seemed to be on the verge of saying something he also tried to hold back. I raised a brow, inviting him to just spit it out.

  “What’s it like when you’re alone with the others? With Falon.”

  Ok, that I had not been expecting. Lying in bed with Shaz, wrapped up in each other, discussing my sexual exploits with the fallen angel was the last thing I wanted to do.

  “Say what now?” I blurted. “I’m not quite sure I know how to answer that.”

  “Sorry to throw you a curveball there.” A rueful grin lit up his face. “This doesn’t have to be weird. I’m just curious. Is it only sex? Power? Do you get something different from all of us?”

  One after the other he nailed me with questions that felt like fists. It wasn’t his intent. My reaction was my problem. So I sucked it up and considered his query.

  “It’s different with each of you,” I began carefully, weighing every word. “With Falon it’s like taking a hit of the strongest drug I have access to. It’s all about the escape with him. When things become too much…”

  A lump lodged in my throat. That’s what it had started as. It had evolved. Encounters with Falon had taken a strange turn. We still ran from the ghosts of our past in each other’s arms, but it had led us to a place we couldn’t turn back from.

  Clearing my throat, I continued on before my pause could convey more than I felt ready to share. “With Arys its love and hate. Violence and tenderness. The place where it all comes together and I feel whole for a while. Not as much these days though, unfortunately.”

  Shaz nodded knowingly, his eyes crinkling in a sympathetic wince. “I’ll do whatever I can to keep you and Arys from falling apart until we figure out how to fix this. I promise, Lex.”

  “And you,” I said with a smile, running a hand through his platinum hair. “You are where my heart lies. You speak to my soul. When I’m with you, I remember who I am and who I want to be.”

  He ran a hand over my shoulder, up the side of my neck. Capturing my chin in a firm but gentle grasp, Shaz leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “Happy to hear it. But you know that’s not entirely what I meant when I asked what it was like with the others.”

  I gazed up at him, puzzled. It must have showed because he laughed hard enough to shake the bed.

  “What do you want from me, Shaz? A play by play of events?” I laughed too, in surprise. Maybe a little suspicion. What was up with this line of questioning?

  He pretended to consider this with genuine interest. I slapped his chest and he chuckled. “I’m gonna go with no on that one. I just meant, what’s it like? Having more than one lover?”

  His grin faded with his last question. Right away I saw where he steered the conversation. And why. Shaz had known other lovers in his time. When I first met him, he’d been sowing his wild oats with several women. This was not about anything of the sort. This was all about Arys.

  “It’s natural now.” As hard as it was for me to discuss this, I had to. He needed it. So I opened up. “It wasn’t always. It felt wrong, but I realized that as long as everyone involved was aware and willing, it wasn’t wrong at all. Just different. Only you and Arys possess my heart. The others, my body, blood, or power. But I’ll never love anyone the way I love you, Shaz.”

  “I know.” The emotion that stole over his face set my heart free. I adored the man like crazy. But he vibrated with sudden tension. Nerves. Whatever was lurking in his mind, he wanted to spit it out. Something held him back.

  “You know you can talk to me about anything. Tell me what’s on your mind. Where is this coming from?”

  Shaz pushed himself up into a sitting position.

  Concerned but trying not to jump the gun, I sat up too. Settling myself against the headboard, I waited for him to feel ready.

  After shoving both hands through his hair, he clenched them both into fists and sighed. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, trying to figure out how I feel about some things. I want to know how you feel about them too. How would you feel if I wanted to pursue a more physical relationship with Arys?”

  Ka-Boom!

  Yeah, I was stunned. So much so that I had to replay what he’d just said a few times in my head.

  “Um.” My mind was blank. Words would be helpful. I stared at him like a moron, knowing I needed to speak before he formed his own assumptions. “How much more physical?”

  Truth be told, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the thought of Shaz and Arys sleeping together. Not because I was against it, but because Shaz had been so clear about where the lines were with Arys.

  “I’m not sure yet. I don’t even know if I want to. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.” A faint blush colored Shaz’s cheeks. “We’ve never done anything more than what you already know about. I wouldn’t. Not without your consent.” His apprehension flavored the air. This was no easy decision for Shaz. He’d been wrestling with this for some time now I’d bet.

  I swallowed, finding it difficult. This was tough for him, I could see that. I didn’t want to say or do anything to make it worse. “Shaz, you don’t need my consent to be with Arys. Just make sure it’s what you want. I don’t want you to have regrets.” My hand found his thigh beneath the sheets. I hoped he felt reassurance in my touch.

  Relief flickered through his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rock the boat.”

  “Bit late for that I think,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Look, we both know Arys wants you. And you know that I of all people understand well the enigma that is Arys Knight. I get it.”

  Shaz slumped back against the headboard next to me, looking deflated. “I don’t know what it is about that guy. Nobody else but you has made me feel the way he does. I hate that I love it.”

  The tortured expression he wore had me bursting into giggles. I hated the sound and wished only that Falon could hear it because he’d hate it even more. “I’m sorry, Shaz.” My head lolled back against the headboard. “I shouldn’t laugh. It’s cute though. Sounds like you might actually like him a little.” I gave him a teasing nudge and batted my lashes. It was the closest I could get to asking if he had feelings for our dark vampire. I didn’t want to force it out of him.

  “I guess he’s not all bad.” Shaz smirked and rolled his eyes, playing it off. But his aura hummed with the telltale heat of red-hot attraction. And something more. There was genuine affection there, spicing his energy with tantalizing vibes.

  “Not all bad,” I repeated. Gliding my hand from his thigh, up over his abdomen, I lingered to outline the taut muscles there. I angled my head to better meet his gaze. “Sounds like someone’s in denial.”

  “Maybe,” he admitted, relaxing under my touch. “I’m going to enjoy it while I can.” He’d volunteer everything when he felt there was more to share.

  I didn’t want to push anything and scare him off whatever he felt toward Arys. Choosing to leave it at that, I stripped the sheets off Shaz and climbed onto his lap. On my knees, straddling him, I gazed down at him. His wolfy eyes drank in the sight of me.

  I was glad he’d said something. On some level it was a little weird to think of the two of them together like that. And yet, it was also a hell of a turn on. If he thought I’d be mad or
threatened by any further development between him and Arys, he was all kinds of wrong. The three of us were bound together. It felt only right that they should bond.

  Shaz and I had spent the morning finding love and pleasure in one another. Desires we’d both built up with Arys before coming together. He should’ve been there with us.

  Seeing the longing on my face, Shaz wrapped his arms around my back and crushed me against him. Pressing his face into my breasts, he kissed me. “It will be ok, Lex. I promise.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  SHAZ

  I hated seeing that look on her face. The fear of defeat. She missed Arys. It showed in every move she made. Every word she spoke.

  It caused her brow to furrow tight, creating a pinched line between her eyes. Using my thumb I rubbed it until her expression softened. “Don’t worry so much. It will all work itself out somehow.”

  Alexa’s tight rear end brushed against my groin. Holding her hips, I pulled her harder against me.

  She held my face in her hands and whispered, “You save me. Every night.”

  We both knew she would have to be the one to save herself in the end, along with Arys. They were running out of time. I saw it. We all did. I’d been putting in overtime doing what I could to keep them balanced while taking care not to neglect my pack. The A team didn’t make it easy, that’s for sure. They were a handful and then some.

  Since Kale’s death, Alexa had changed. She was more determined than ever to save what she and Arys had. It still hurt her. Losing Kale. She tried not to let us see. But I’d seen it break her the night it happened. I watched her kill someone she loved. I saw it kill a part of her.

  Personally, I’d hated Kale. I didn’t care how he found his end. Until it was her. Seeing how it changed her, I’d do anything to take that from her if I could.