Hurt (Alexa O'Brien Huntress) Read online

  Brogan’s blonde hair was pinned up in a messy bun. She seemed cozy in baggy sweats, a hoodie, and Ugg boots. “It’s cool. I was still up. Devouring the latest Stephen King novel. So what’s up?”

  I wasn’t sure where to start. Might as well jump in. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, well for several months really, about how I fit in with Alexa and Arys. Maybe I’m just deluding myself, but I think I have a stronger influence on them than I first realized. I need to know for sure. Think you can help?”

  She led the way through the store to the back where shelves of inventory lined the walls. A table with a laptop sat in the center of it all.

  “I wish I could say yes,” Brogan said, opening the laptop. She motioned for me to take a seat next to her. “I don’t have much personal knowledge about twin flames, but I do have access to all my mother’s notes and research. We can take a look.”

  I waited while her computer booted up. In an effort to make small talk and be friendly, I asked, “So how’ve you been since Halloween?”

  We hadn’t spoken since that night. It hadn’t been all that long ago. Judging by the scrunched face she made, she didn’t want to think about it. Couldn’t say I blamed her.

  “Ugh, don’t remind me. It took days for me to stop waking up in a cold sweat, thinking I was back in that room. With him.” She shuddered, the way one did when deeply disgusted.

  Arys had gone easy on her. I’d made sure of it. He hadn’t laid a hand on her. Everything she’d endured had been all metaphysical. But even that was enough to leave a lasting effect.

  I’d listened to her beg and plead with him while he pushed us both to unreal points of desire. The power the A-team wielded could bring pleasure, pain, and everything in between. Brogan and me, we’d experienced all of it. Being Arys’s unwilling victim had been hell. Nothing like being forced to desire someone as you’re hating them with everything you’re worth.

  I tried to let it go, to chalk it up to incubus vampire bullshit and just move on. But every time he looked at me with hunger in his eyes, I went right back there.

  “I shouldn’t have brought that up. It was stupid.” I shrugged apologetically.

  “No, it’s fine. I owe you big. You really saved my ass in there.” Her fingers moved over the keyboard.

  Keeping Arys’s attention hadn’t been hard. He’d always seen me as a challenge. His goal when he’d had me locked in that torture room had been to make me beg. For his bite. For relief from the constant arousal. I didn’t do it. But God did I ever come close.

  “Consider us even.” I gestured to the laptop.

  “Ok, let me just search a few of these folders. My mom kept records of everything. Spells. Research. All kinds of stuff. She knew about Alexa and Arys, so there’s got to be something here.”

  I waited patiently for her to sift through Lena’s documents, feeling thankful that she’d thought to keep such meticulous notes. I might have even crossed my fingers. As she searched, I told her about Alexa’s claim that I was her anchor, the one who keeps her sane. And how I saw it myself. She was different with me. They were both different with me.

  Brogan sat up straighter. “I found her file on twin flames.”

  I listened as she read through some point-form notes on what we already knew about twin flames. One entity split into two people. The yin yang, a perfect division of light and dark. Destined to do great things but at a price.

  “Ok, so it says here that dark forces work constantly to keep twin flames in conflict.” Brogan’s hazel eyes studied the screen, seeking something more. “Their destiny will always be challenged. That’s just the way it is, I guess. Good versus evil and all that jazz. Doesn’t say much else.”

  “Shit.” So disappointing. “I hoped to ask Willow about it, but he’s not around much lately. Drops in every few days to check in with Alexa. I can’t think of anyone else who might be able to steer me in the right direction.”

  “We’ll get to the bottom of it,” she promised with a smile, fingers tapping away. “Let’s try an internet search. I have some solid magic sources online.”

  I started to doubt myself. Maybe I was reading too much into this. “If you think I’m grasping at straws here in an effort to give myself some kind of purpose, feel free to say so. The more I think about it, the more I question how I could possibly have thought I fit in with them somehow.”

  Brogan glanced at me, pensive and patient. “I think you have to trust your instincts. If your gut tells you there’s more to it, then chances are that’s right.”

  She was just too nice to tell me I was full of shit. I couldn’t waste much more of her time; I had to get to Doghead soon. The clock ticked while she scoured site after site. My hand kept straying to my phone as I checked and rechecked the time.

  Just as I was about to tell her to forget it, she perked up and flashed me an excited grin. “I think I found something.” Brogan turned the laptop so I could see the screen. “A cosmic keystone, or cosmic anchor as it’s also known, is a central person, object, or principle that ties a magic system together. I think we could be onto something here.”

  I scanned the description once, then twice, mulling it over. “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It means that maybe you do have an effect on Arys and Alexa. Maybe you’re the keystone that holds the whole thing together.” Brogan shrugged. She got this quizzical look before saying, “It says that a keystone is vital for the existence of whatever it holds together. And we know that twin flames have a dark force working against them, to divide them. So there’s a chance you could be the anchor, the keystone, that holds them together.”

  It sounded farfetched. I sat back in my chair and stretched, swearing when my shoulder cracked. “This is all pretty out there. Not sure how I feel about it.”

  “You know I think I may be able to confirm this. Would you be open to participating in a spell? Just a small one.” She was already getting up to grab things from the nearby shelves.

  “Sure. What the hell?”

  I had nothing to lose. On one hand I could see how the keystone theory made sense. But on the other, it didn’t. Why would twin flames need a keystone to join them? Was the force that tore them apart in the first place really that strong?

  Watching Brogan bring candles, stones, and various herbs to the table, I thought about Alexa and Arys. They couldn’t stay away from each other, and yet they were always at odds. There was no denying the conflict between them. I’d witnessed it myself on several occasions. We’d all come to assume that was just the way things were with twins but had any of us thought there might be more to it?

  “Ok, we’re just going to do a little identity revelation spell. Nothing spooky, I promise.” Brogan arranged several candles in a circle and placed a dark blue stone in the center. She held up a small blade, about the size of a letter opener but much sharper. “Is it cool if I swipe a few drops?”

  I held out a hand, watching the small blade slice my fingertip. Brogan held my finger over the stone, ensuring a few blood drops landed on its surface. Lighting each candle in a counter clockwise pattern, she spoke something that I assumed to be Latin. It could’ve been anything really, and I’d have never known the difference.

  Spellcasting was foreign to me, so when the candles went out all at once, I tensed. A knot formed in my gut. When the stone began to glow, I held my breath. The blood drops on the surface began to move, forming into an arch of sorts. Like a creepy little blood rainbow.

  Brogan turned to me with an expectant expression. I sat there feeling uneasy as she stared at me. Or was she staring through me?

  “It’s a bridge, Shaz,” she said, a strange lilt to her tone. “Many bridges have keystones, a large stone in the center that holds both sides together.” She dropped back down into her chair and reached for the laptop. “I just want to cross reference a few things.”

  My skin crawled in response to the magic she’d used. I rubbed my arms, willing the hairs to lie back down. “How do yo
u know? It’s just blood on a stone.”

  “Not to me it isn’t. I can read the blood. Several spells use this method to send a message.”

  Now that I had my answer, I wasn’t so sure I wanted it anymore. Was it too late to take back coming here at all? “What does that mean for me?”

  “Shaz, there is a force out there responsible for separating the two of them. It was meant to be that way. But like the keystone on a bridge that joins both sides in the middle, a cosmic keystone is the same, only a whole lot more magical.” Brogan patted my arm and smiled like she was bestowing good news upon me. “You’re the force that joins them. Whatever it is that keeps twin flames in conflict and pushes them apart, you bring it into balance. I think they need you.”

  Denial hit like a punch in the mouth. I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair a few times before clutching a handful as if it would calm the rushing rapids churning in my gut. “Are you sure we’re not somehow just seeing what we want to see?” I asked. My mouth went dry. What the hell was wrong with me?

  Brogan frowned. “You backpedaled fast. I understand that when we find the answers we seek, it can be hard to accept them. But I don’t think we’re wrong about this. To me it looks like your feelings were dead on. You’re totally tuned in. That’s a good thing.”

  “It doesn’t feel so good.” My head spun. Suspecting it had been one thing. Having someone else confirm it meant that I wasn’t deluding myself. “Is there any way we can get a second opinion? It’s not that I don’t trust you…”

  “No worries. I get it. Really. Growing up with a mom like mine came with a lot of moments like this.” She pulled out her phone and waved it around. “Have you ever touched Gabriel?”

  We’d fought once. That had to count. “Yeah.”

  Within seconds the phone was ringing on speakerphone. I doubted he’d even answer. Lex had been having a hell of a time keeping track of the kid. He seemed to disappear at random and kept to himself despite having asked her forgiveness. However, since Gabriel had been the one to get us out of Shya’s hell house, he was ok in my book.

  “Brogan, this isn’t a good time,” he answered on the third ring.

  “I just have a question for you, Gabe. I promise to be quick.”

  He was silent on the other end for a moment. “Ok, shoot.”

  “Alexa’s wolf, Shaz, what do you know about him?” She looked at me when she asked.

  I looked at the blue stone and the red arch my blood formed. This was too out there.

  “What do you mean? I assume there’s a specific reason you’re asking.” Gabriel didn’t sound suspicious, just curious. “Did he do something?”

  “No, no,” she assured him. “We were just talking, and I got to wondering about him. Have you ever touched him?”

  If that little bastard lied, I was going to kick his ass.

  “Yeah, but we were fighting,” Gabriel said. “I didn’t have a precog vision of him if that’s what you’re asking. What’s going on, Brogan? What do you really want to know about him?”

  I met her questioning gaze and shrugged. No point in lying.

  “Ok, that didn’t go as planned. I’ll level with you. I think he might be a keystone. What do you know about that kind of thing?”

  Gabriel was young but he was no idiot. “He’s there, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah,” I spoke up, revealing my presence. “I’m here. Trying to find out if there’s a legit reason why Alexa calls me her anchor. Brogan found some info about keystones. I was hoping you could give us a second opinion.”

  His laugh was unexpected. “Well, now that’s interesting. I don’t know much about twin flames. Keystones, however, they’re the glue that holds the magic together. An anchor of sorts for sure. You think you hold them together?”

  “I don’t know what to think,” I said, pulling my hair until it hurt. It didn’t release the tension holding me rigid. “All I know is that I’m able to bring her back when her control starts to slip. Several times I’ve subdued her, helped her keep her head. Maybe it’s all a coincidence.”

  “And Arys?” Gabriel asked.

  Arys and I had started off on rocky ground. That had changed. I thought about how we moved in tandem, reading each other with a natural ease when we shared a bed with Lex. A few times Arys had the chance to take advantage of me, like when I went to him when Lex was with Kale. Other than when he’d been influenced by Shya’s hell house, Arys had never forced me farther than I was willing to go.

  “Arys and I have a way of reading each other,” I offered, not knowing what else to say. “I’m not sure it means anything.”

  “Well, there’s one way to find out,” Gabriel said. “Have Brogan do an identity spell.”

  Brogan piped up with a boisterous, “I did that, Gabe. The blood formed an arch, like a bridge.”

  “Then there you go. The magic speaks the truth. If you want to chase this any further, you’ll have to put it to the test.” There was a muffled male voice in the background, Briggs probably, before Gabriel said, “I’ve got to go, guys. Sorry.”

  After he hung up Brogan and I stared at one another. It seemed that I had some further thinking to do.

  “Put it to the test?” I repeated. “How do I do that?”

  Brogan shrugged and stifled a yawn. “I wish I could help you, Shaz, but I think you’re on your own with that one.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  I spent the entire drive to Doghead convincing myself I was full of shit. Wasting Brogan’s time had been stupid. I was reading too much into minor coincidences that were probably nothing. Being surrounded by vampires, fallen angels, and demons was starting to have an effect on me.

  The Doghead parking lot was pretty much empty other than a handful of vehicles scattered about. The party was over for now.

  I expected to find Bastian when I entered so I wasn’t surprised to see him and about half a dozen of the wolves he’d brought to Alexa’s nightclub. He sat at the bar, clutching a glass of something dark like whiskey. His lip curled up in a snarl, but he never made a move.

  Ignoring the many glares and muttered curses that followed me, I went to the office where I hoped to find Hanna. She shouldn’t be coming in at all with things as they were, but staying home alone seemed too depressing for her. She didn’t want to be there without Dayne.

  Hanna was indeed in her office. She was also a hot mess of distressed and drunk. Her eyes were bloodshot and tearstained with smudged mascara. In one hand she held a bottle of rum that was nearing empty. I got the feeling it wasn’t her first.

  “Well, we’re fucked, aren’t we?” She flung a hand up in exasperation. “Alexa must be out for blood after what Bastian just did.”

  “He told you?” I swung the door closed to allow us some privacy. “Are you ok, Hanna?”

  She was obviously not ok. Her eyes were unfocused, and she slumped in her chair. “Yeah, he told me. We’ve been down this road before, with another pack. It was years ago. There was a lot of death and terror. I don’t want to live through that again. But it’s happening, isn’t it?”

  “It doesn’t have to,” I said, standing uncertainly in front of the desk. I didn’t know if I should sit down or wrestle the bottle out of her hand. “Alexa wants to meet you tomorrow night. She doesn’t want this to end badly. But if Bastian and the others keep running rogue, it will.”

  Hanna tipped the bottle to her lips, giggling drunkenly when rum splashed down her chin. “Bastian and the others don’t give a fuck about anything I have to say. They have no respect. They’re going to get us killed.”

  That sure wasn’t the Alpha reaction I would have liked. Crossing my arms, I frowned and shook my head. “Not if you do something about it. You’re the Alpha, Hanna. Rogues need to be put in their place. This is no time for people to be stepping out of line. Keeping order here is vital if you want this pack to survive without Dayne.”

  Her expression changed in a blink. Leaning heavily on the desk, she held the bottle close and s
hrugged. “That’s just it, Shaz. I don’t think I can survive without Dayne. I don’t know how.”

  “Then now is a good time to learn.” It hadn’t occurred to me that an Alpha wolf could falter when they were needed most. I would never have thrown in the towel and let my pack suffer like this.

  Almost falling in the process, she pushed to her feet, abandoning the bottle. Pausing to steady herself, Hanna took slow, careful steps toward me. “Then help me, Shaz. I can’t do it on my own. With Dayne gone, there will be a lot of roles to fill around here.” The seductive gait she tried to assume was offset by the staggering amount of booze in her system. With a toss of auburn hair, she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “You’re young but you’re strong. You have what it takes to keep things running smoothly.”

  I stiffened when she touched me. She grabbed my crossed arms and steadied herself before laying a bold hand on my face. Not wanting to encourage her, I leaned back, trying to escape her touch without going so far as to throw my new Alpha on her ass.

  “Hanna, stop.” Gently I pushed her hand away. “You’ve had a lot to drink. I think you should head home. I’ll call you a cab.”

  “Why? So I can sit there by myself? I don’t want to be alone right now.” Again she pressed closer, ignoring my not so subtle back step. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” Hanna went in for a kiss before I could disentangle myself. Her lips mashed against mine, tasting of alcohol.

  Well, that escalated quickly.

  “No, Hanna, please.” I caught hold of her and managed to put her at arm’s length. “I really don’t think you want to do this. It’s the liquor and too many sleepless days.”

  Drunk and determined, she broke free of my hold and shoved me into the closed door. Afraid to touch her too much, I held both hands up in a useless show of resistance.

  “Let me suck your cock,” she pleaded, hands going to my belt. “I need this like you wouldn’t believe. I’m so tightly wound these days. Help me unwind, and I’ll make you my second. You’ll have all the authority you need to take charge of the rogues. Do whatever you want with them.”