Alexa O'Brien, Huntress 09 - Forget About Midnight Read online

  With a silent nod, I traced a finger along his cheek. Our gazes were locked when he slid inside me. A ragged groan escaped him. For a moment he didn’t move. He just took a second to enjoy being connected in such a powerful way.

  “Kale,” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of our connection. With him inside me and his saccharine essence all around me, I felt our bond in a whole new way. He was mine, and right then every part of me knew it.

  Slowly he began to move. His steady, deep thrusts fed the wind that blew around us. I drew on his heady energy, taking it into me to a dark place that feasted upon him.

  He buried his face in my hair, his lips on my neck. With one arm flung around him, I held him close. With the other hand I gripped his hip, loving the way he felt between my legs.

  I began to slip away from myself. The passion we shared was all-consuming, swallowing me whole. There was no me anymore. There was just two lost souls entwined as one in an erotic embrace driven by forbidden love.

  Kale was all over me, all around me. I drank him in. The rush of his desire and the tenderness of his caress brought me to a dizzying place of detachment where I could pretend for just a moment that this was all there was in the world, just this moment of untamed emotion. It was a beautiful expression of the things neither of us could say.

  Slow and sensual, he moved inside me. Kale made love to me as if it were our final moment on earth. Staring up into his gorgeous eyes, I saw the genuine emotion that drove him. It echoed within me. I loved him. I did. And still, even in that moment of absolution, I heard a small voice inside me whisper, But he is not the one.

  I bit my tongue to hold back a whimper. Losing myself in Kale hadn’t brought me the illusions I sought. If anything, it forced me to see everything much more clearly.

  My name was a husky murmur as he grazed my neck with his fangs. There was no living sustenance in vampire blood, but there was a hell of a lot of power to bask in. The ultimate drug.

  The rhythm of his thrusts steadily increased as we climbed that climactic mountain. The sensations that engulfed me were intense, greater than anything my mortal body had known. My cries echoed around us, the only sound other than the mystical wind.

  Kale’s arms shook with the tension thrumming through him as he held himself atop me. His energy was loud in my head, an untamed force that filled me until it seemed that we floated, weightless.

  The rush of white noise was deafening in my ears, drowning out the wind and my own cries of pleasure. He moaned, and I felt him tense inside me. With a low murmur, he gripped my hips and filled me with a ferocity that brought a smile to my face. I clutched him with claws, raking his back as I came with a shudder.

  A moment later he joined me, and we lay there enjoying the brief afterglow. Unfortunately, being perched on the hood of a car limited the snuggle time.

  “We’ve really got to try this in a bed sometime,” I said with a laugh.

  Kale straightened up and tugged his pants back into place, though he didn’t look happy about it. I sat up, feeling both vulnerable and too damn high on him to give a shit.

  It would’ve been easier to gather myself if he hadn’t been staring at me like he was considering round two. I felt like I was flying. My head swam in the nicest way. It was hard to feel sorry for anything we’d just done.

  He pulled me into a warm embrace, pressing a kiss to my cheek before releasing me to finish dressing. “We should get out of here before the FPA show up. I’m sure they’re tracking you.”

  I eyed him, my gaze drifting over the faint marks marring his face. “Did Arys say that?” When he looked up sharply, I added, “I mean, he’s the one who hit you. Right?” I slid off the hood of the car, doing my best to keep my butt from sticking to the paint. That would sure ruin the seductress vibe I’d had going on.

  “There was an exchange of hits,” he said with a nod. “He did mention your sister. She’s been tracking our kills.”

  Slipping into my underwear, I frowned. This was not good after-lovemaking conversation. “Well, I guess that fits with what Falon said.”

  An awkwardness settled, and I hated it for tainting what should have been a special moment. Kale slipped into his leather jacket, looking like he wanted to say more. I motioned for him to go ahead and spit it out. Might as well now.

  “Juliet said they’ll be hunting you if the public kills don’t stop.”

  I laughed hard then. With the power buzzing so hard through my system that my hands shook and my head fogged with the high of it all, I found it impossible to take Juliet’s threat seriously.

  “They can try,” I snickered.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Like hell I don’t.”

  Kale surprised me by grabbing my arm and forcing me to meet his gaze. I was half-dressed, about to slip my shirt on.

  “Don’t laugh this off,” he said, stern and hard. “I would never forgive myself if you ended up inside that building. Trust me. You don’t want that.”

  I might have been power drunk and too cocky for my own good, but I wasn’t stupid. “No, I don’t. You’re right. It has to stop. I don’t want to be one of the vampires that I’ve spent so many years hunting.”

  Kale’s face fell. “That’s why you shouldn’t be with me. I can’t help you. I am one of those vampires. You’ve just never been willing to accept that.”

  “Kale, don’t.”

  We stared at one another until he let go. I finished dressing and ran my fingers through my tangled hair but gave up. So quickly we’d gone from mad passion to sobering discomfort.

  “I’ll meet you back at the house?” Kale lingered, clearly waiting for me to leave the graveyard first.

  “Yeah. I’ll see you there.”

  Feeling confused, I got into my car and started the engine. My good mood crashed hard as I swung from one extreme to another. My emotions were scattered, and I didn’t know whether I wanted to laugh, scream, or cry.

  On impulse, I reached for my phone and called Jez who answered on the first ring. “Alexa? It’s about damn time you called. Are you ok?”

  “No,” I said, crumbling at the sound of her voice. “I don’t think I am.”

  I felt better after a brief talk with Jez. She promised to meet me the following evening. I needed to see someone who could talk me down from the ledge I’d been walking.

  The rest of the drive back to Kale’s was spent wrestling with my inner demons. I took a longer route than necessary, needing the time to think. Or to try to stop thinking.

  I missed the musky smell of wolf when I awoke next to Shaz. My wolf longed for the forest outside my house. She also longed to break free of this vampire form, to run wild through the night. It had been too long since my last shift.

  The way my house smelled after a rain with the windows open. The sound of birds in the trees outside my bedroom. Watching my wolf and my vampire argue about everything from something as mundane as a sports game to something as serious as my life and death. All of these things I missed dreadfully.

  The last time I saw Shaz, I had tried to kill him. Out of my mind on that first night as a vampire, I’d acted on instinct with no conscious thought to guide me. Would it be like that next time?

  As I drove through the quiet streets, I tortured myself with questions that had no answer. What the hell was I doing with Kale? Did I think we could terrorize the city without repercussion? And why didn’t I care more about going so far off the rails?

  This wasn’t what I wanted for either Kale or me. We didn’t belong together. I belonged somewhere else, with someone else. However, going home and expecting to step back into my life like I’d never left would be delusional.

  Arys was being so patient. For the first few nights, I had expected him to come for me. When he didn’t, I realized he was leaving this entirely in my hands. It couldn’t have been easy for him. He was so headstrong and always ready to challenge me. Not this time.

  Arys was giving me space because it wa
s what I wanted. And yet, I almost wished he wouldn’t because, the longer I went without seeing him, the more certain I grew that without him I would continue this descent into madness.

  After taking a few rides on the emotional rollercoaster, I was ready to get off. When I pulled up in front of Kale’s house, I was calm. I’d reached a place of temporary acceptance. My world had changed. I had changed.

  I glanced at the house. A dim light glowed beyond the heavy drapes. Kale waited in there for me, and I would go to him. This time together would be short lived. I could feel it. This time of transition was important for me, even though parts of it hurt like hell.

  I strode up the front walk with a purposeful gait. I left my emotional turmoil back in the car. Kale had enough of his own without having to face mine too.

  The sound of the shower greeted me when I stepped inside. I made my way through the house, stripping off clothing as I went. Without hesitation I let myself into the bathroom.

  Steam filled the air and fogged the mirror. The small bathroom was hot. Kale poked his head out the side of the shower curtain.

  “Alexa, are you sure we should be—” he began, but I silenced him with a finger.

  I stepped into the shower with him and placed my hand on his cheek. Peering into his eyes, I saw my own pain reflected there.

  “Don’t question it,” I said. “We both know this isn’t our forever. That would be too easy, and people like you and me, we don’t get to take the easy road. So if all we get is a few nights of passion, we’d better make it worth it. Let’s make a memory.”

  Before he could reply, I sank to my knees before him and proceeded to blow his mind in a way he would never forget.

  Chapter Six

  We spent the day in Kale’s bed, tangled in the sheets and each other. Trapped inside the house together, it was the best way to shut out the rest of the world. I lost track of how many times we made love. At some point, I even stopped thinking about Arys. For a while.

  He haunted me. His voice echoed in my head, and I couldn’t always tell if it was real or a memory. Separation had never been good for us, even before we found one another. It was starting to eat at me. Eventually, it would drive me crazier than the bloodlust ever could. I knew. I’d seen it happen to someone else.

  Being apart was going to break both Arys and I down. I could feel it already, threatening to take everything that was left of me until there was only him.

  “What are you thinking?” Kale asked. He was pressed against me, a leg thrown over one of mine and an arm around my waist. He kissed my shoulder, but his gaze was on me. “You’re frowning.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I can’t get wrinkles now, huh?” I quipped, stroking a hand up and down his thigh. Touching him so freely was surreal. The strange tension between us was still there, lurking in the background, waiting for a chance to shatter our fragile state of comfort.

  “It’s ok to miss him, Alexa. I’m not delusional enough to believe I’m the one for you. I know how this is supposed to play out. And I’m ok with that. Just being here with you now is enough.”

  Kale’s declaration sliced through me like a dagger. Feeling like I’d just been stabbed, I turned my face away so he couldn’t see the blood tears I blinked back. Inwardly I cursed my emotions for being on overdrive. I could go from a torrent of tears to a maniacal rage in a split second. It was frustrating to have such little control over myself.

  I turned back to face him, hoping like hell that he couldn’t see the anguish I stuffed down inside me. “I’m not going to lie. It’s hard for me without him. But don’t for a minute think that you don’t mean the world to me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, looking ashamed. “I shouldn’t have said that. This really isn’t the time or place.”

  “No, it’s fine. You should say whatever you feel.” I ran my fingers through his hair and down the side of his face. I could stare into those amazing eyes for days and still find them fascinating. “Anything we bring to this room stays in this room.”

  “I just don’t want to make this harder on you by saying shit like that. I sound like a bad Hollywood movie.”

  “So you mean every Hollywood movie then.” I gave him a playful nudge, happy when I got a small chuckle out of him.

  The sound of a cold autumn rain beat against the covered window. It was the perfect background noise for a day in bed with a forbidden lover. It did kind of feel like a movie. Not a bad one though. Just a sad one about a bittersweet love affair between two people who could only hurt each other.

  The bedside lamp bathed us in its warm glow. I watched him, captivated by the way the light and shadow played over Kale as he sprawled next to me. Every time I thought I was spent, I craved more of him.

  He dragged a hand over my stomach, tracing lazy circles around my navel. As bad as we might have been together, I felt safe with him. If only I could hide away there in his bed forever.

  “Do you ever miss your wolf, Kale?” I asked, knowing this might be my only chance to ask him about it. “I can’t even feel it inside you. When I read that in Veryl’s file about you, it blew my mind. It still does.”

  “For the first few decades I did kind of miss it, although I’d never really enjoyed being a werewolf anyway. After a while, I stopped feeling it. I never missed it again until I met you.” He paused as if thinking back all those centuries. “I was never really cut out for being a wolf. Not like you are.”

  He told me about becoming a wolf, how the military that served the existing English monarch at the time forced him into it for an operation so long ago. That had led him straight into the arms of a vampiress with a serious case of the crazies. I hated hearing about Eva. I hated her for what she’d made him. And then I hated myself for being so much like her, unable to let him go but unable to love him the way he deserved. She and I were not so different.

  We lay there talking about so many things. And while we talked, we touched. A simple caress was not so simple at all when it was Kale’s hands in my hair or his lips finding the curve of my hip. Sunset drew closer, and with it, my disappointment grew. I didn’t want to leave that room.

  “What do you plan to do with Gabriel?” Kale’s sudden question reminded me that there was another new and very powerful vampire roaming the city.

  “I have no idea. I suppose I’ll have to do something. Keeping him away from the FPA is a must.”

  “Not to mention Shya,” Kale said. “He’s being awfully quiet these days. It’s suspicious.”

  I stiffened at the sound of that name. Even the fire Kale stoked back to life with every touch couldn’t soothe the chill that Shya instilled. Shya’s rage had scared me. His silence was soul-crushingly terrifying. There was no underestimating him. I wasn’t fool enough to believe I’d won when it came to the demon. I might have stopped him from taking over a demon queen’s empire, but I still bore his mark.

  “He’s not done with me. Not by a long shot. I don’t even want to think about him right now.” I stretched out beside Kale and slid my hands over his chest. My fingertips tingled as our energies collided.

  “If you need me for anything, just say the word. I’m ready to act as your second. It’s only right.” He nuzzled my neck with playful bites that coaxed a sigh from me.

  It bothered me to hear Kale refer to himself as my second, mostly because those were Shya’s words. To me it reinforced the vampire queen status that everyone had been forcing on me. If anyone was to be my second in command, however, it would be Kale. Arys and I were equals, even more so now that I had no mortal weakness. Kale was the next most powerful vampire in the city, aside from possibly Gabriel, which fueled my ridiculous lust for Kale and his power.

  Whether I liked it or not, Kale was my second. He was so much more than that really. Being the most powerful vampire in the city was going to come at a price. I needed to accept help where I could find it.

  “There’s one thing you can do,” I said, rolling him over onto his back so I could climb
atop him.

  A mischievous grin lit up his face. Raw longing filled his touch as he gripped my waist and slid his hands up to my breasts. “At your service, my queen.”

  “No, not that,” I laughed. “Well, yes, that, but that’s not what I was talking about. I’m supposed to meet Jez after sunset. Come with me? You know, just in case.”

  “Of course. Sometimes it’s easier with people you love. Because you don’t really want to hurt them.” He sat up to kiss me, a tender melding of our mouths that rubbed my emotions raw. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

  I had to laugh at the absurdity of what he’d said. “You’re kidding, right? That’s not how it works for our kind. If anything, we want very much to hurt the people we love. Our entire relationship is built on it.”

  Kale shook his head and put his arms around me. I sat naked in his lap, unbearably aware of our closeness. “It doesn’t have to be that way with everyone,” he said. “It won’t be. Not always. I promise.”

  I flashed back to the night I awoke at The Wicked Kiss. When Shaz walked in the door, I’d attacked him without a second thought. Taking him down had been swift and easy. If Arys hadn’t been there, I would’ve killed him.

  “But how can you say that?” With my arms around Kale’s neck, I let him see the fear and uncertainty I harbored. “You attacked Jez. After five hundred years of practicing self control, you still did it.”

  Guilt flashed through him, and he gave a halfhearted shrug. “Yeah, I did. I really fucked up. But you’re better than me, better than all of us. You have something no other vampire has. You’re a Hound of God. A creature of the light. This is all just a stepping stone for you, Alexa.”

  Being both light and dark didn’t make me any less dangerous than anyone else. If anything, it was the opposite. The mood swings between Hound and vampire made me too unpredictable.

  Kale was so much more than I would ever deserve. His insistence was genuine, yet I knew the truth. “Maybe. But maybe not. There’s always a chance that I’ll hurt someone I love. Isn’t there?”