How To Be Deadly (Rebel Heart Book 4) Read online

  “But that’s, it’s just, no, that’s not true.” Flustered, I struggled to find the right words. “Something had to have happened to convince you to go dark.”

  Something sinister crossed his face. He scowled. “Remember back in the prison realm, when I told you that I almost killed those kids who fucked with me in the House of Mirrors? A few years later I got jumped by the same kids. And I lost it.” A pause. He glanced around, but nobody sat close enough to hear. “I killed one of them. With the shadows. And it wasn’t an accident. I wanted to do it.”

  The sip of beer I’d taken went down the wrong pipe, and I coughed. What did one even say to such a confession? “What happened? I mean, you were just a kid.”

  “Nobody could prove I did it. I used the shadows. Never touched the kid myself. We moved to a new town and started over. My mom could barely look at me. To this day we barely talk. I moved out as soon as I turned sixteen.” He spoke with a detached tone, as if anything he might have once felt about it all had long ago died.

  His confession floored me. I managed another sip of beer, this time without coughing it all over the place. Drinking only bought me so many seconds before I had to say something. “The past doesn’t have to define the future, Arrow.” What a meager attempt at comfort. I just felt so sad for him, and I knew he didn’t want that. “The light will always have a place for you. I hope you know that.”

  Leaning against the wall beside our table, Arrow surveyed the rest of the pub. Disgust curled his upper lip into a sneer. “I’m a drug dealer, cokehead, and general all-around asshole. The dark is where I belong.” No emotion in his tone or regret in his eyes. He accepted it as truth.

  As much as I wanted to argue, I sensed that letting it go would be better. For now.

  When I failed to find a natural way to steer the conversation in a new direction Arrow excused himself to the restroom. It gave me a few minutes to suck in a few deep breaths and mutter inaudibly to myself.

  I checked the message I’d ignored. Rowen again. Can I see you tonight?

  Oh, fuck me. Having no idea what to say I replied with: Not sure where I’ll be yet. Maybe see you at Spirit?

  When Arrow returned he launched right into inviting me to a party at his place the following night, after the Molly’s Chamber show at Spirit. “I understand if you don’t think it’s safe for you to be there, but I’d love it if you came.”

  “Well, if I’m still alive…” I tried to joke, trailing off when there was just no way to end that on a funny note.

  “Like I said, I’ve got your back. Don’t feel like you have to face this fucker alone. I can ditch the party if you need me to.” Willing to put his life on the line for me, Arrow voluntarily put his safety at risk. And he somehow still believed he wasn’t worthy of the light.

  I sipped my beer, trying to keep from openly marveling over him. “I’m sure I can be there.”

  We finished our drinks and killed some time by browsing a few shops until Jett texted me that her car had been picked up. She and Sam were waiting back at the stage for us.

  The plan was to go hang at Spirit. I had to grab my car from there anyway. Needless to say, I was nervous. But also too damn stubborn to hide at home. I couldn’t live that way. What kind of demon ass kicker would I be if I let one of them scare me into submission?

  We left the mall and crossed through the nearly empty parking lot. Jett bitched and moaned about the cost of new tires. Arrow shot her down by reminding her that she was a trust fund baby with more than enough for new tires. I remained quiet, searching the vicinity hard while trying to appear nonchalant.

  Footsteps behind us had the blood draining from my face. It sounded exactly like the footsteps from last night.

  Slowly I turned to look. Nobody there. Of course.

  Jett stopped bitching, listening with her keen wolf hearing. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  Choking on the lump in my throat, I nodded. Worry creased her brow, and she moved closer to Sam. The only pure human of the bunch, he was the most vulnerable.

  “My car is over here.” Arrow produced keys and led the way through the parkade. They were always so eerie at night. Even more so now.

  When we increased our pace the footsteps also sped up. Growing louder, they echoed in the stillness. My heart thudded hard enough to deafen. Still I could hear those footsteps.

  Arrow jerked to a halt, forcing the rest of us to stop. He scanned the night. The footsteps stopped.

  “Dude, let’s go.” Shaken, Sam kept moving. Couldn’t say I blamed him.

  I grabbed the sleeve of Arrow’s jacket. “Come on.”

  His mouth twisted into a determined grimace I’d come to know meant he was ready and willing to fight. The car didn’t provide a safe zone for us. If anything it might put us at greater risk. If we could get to The Spirit Room we’d be relatively safe. At least Sam would be.

  Arrow caught my hand in his and started moving again. My mouth was dry and my pulse pounded, but I didn’t know how much of it was fear and how much was from the warmth of his fingers entwined with mine.

  The footsteps resumed, so close they sounded like Wren was right behind us. And though I could sense his presence, I couldn’t see him. The spiritual blindness of it enhanced my dread.

  The black BMW sat alone in the corner of the parking lot. Jett and Sam reached it first. Arrow used the key fob to unlock the doors, and they clambered into the back seat. With obvious reluctance he let go of my hand. I slipped the Midnight Star off my back and got into the front passenger seat. I kept expecting Wren’s cackling face to appear in my window.

  Arrow got in the car, but before he even slid the key in the ignition, the radio turned on. There was a loud screech followed by old-school radio noise, like it was caught between stations and searching for a signal. A high-pitched squeal filled the car. Jett made a pained noise and covered her ears. Arrow hit the volume button repeatedly, but it made no difference.

  A voice suddenly boomed out of the pricey speaker system. Low and guttural, like the voice of demons in horror movies, but worse. Sinister. “I am vengeance. I am hungry. I am everywhere.”

  Goosebumps broke out all over my body. The radio fell silent. The four of us sat there, breathing heavily, awaiting Wren’s next move.

  “This is bullshit.” Arrow turned the engine over with an angry twist of the key. “You want vengeance on Cinder so bad, then go and fuck with Cinder. Pretty tough demon you are, messing with four mortals. Fucking coward.”

  “Arrow!” The three of us shouted his name in unison.

  The dash lights flashed on and off. The car shook. Sam swore, panic in his voice. I gripped the door handle.

  “Son of a bitch.” Shaking his arm, Arrow shrugged out of his jacket to reveal three bloody gashes on his inked forearm.

  Fury filled me. So Arrow had kind of asked for it, but Wren didn’t want him. He wanted me.

  I flung open the car door and got out brandishing the Midnight Star. “You want me, Wren? Come and get me. Show yourself. I’m right fucking here. Where are you?”

  Jett and Arrow both got out as well, but I warded them off with a hand. This was my fight. They lingered beside the car, waiting to see if the demon would show himself.

  A shove from behind threw me down hard on my knees. I held tight to the sword. It smacked against the ground with a clatter.

  I recovered fast, back on my feet with the speed Cinder had forced me to practice until I ached. Still Wren did not show himself. A sharp sting on my sword arm followed, and I jerked my hoodie sleeve up to find three gashes to match Arrow’s.

  “Can we get to the point? Face me already, you sack of shit.” Angry now, I turned in a slow circle with the sword held before me.

  Wren’s malicious chuckle echoed all around me, seeming to come from every direction. His disembodied voice boomed from everywhere. “Just keeping you on your toes. Can’t have you getting too comfortable. It’s not time yet.”

  I sensed his presence fade away.
Just what I needed. A demon who wanted to fuck with me before killing me. Yay.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “What are you doing here? You should be at home, where it’s safe.” Eyes wide, Rowen scoured the parking lot of The Spirit Room. We’d come to pick up my car before heading back to my place. I wasn’t in the mood to go inside and hang out tonight. Rowen had met us outside looking like he had something to prove. “That demon could be anywhere.”

  “I’m aware. He just had his moment of fun with us. I doubt he’ll be back so soon. He needs to give me time to stress out.” Arms crossed, I met Rowen’s gaze head on. If he was about to start trying to make decisions for me again, we were going to have a problem.

  “Why did you let her come here?” Rowen turned on Arrow. “You should have taken her straight home.”

  A fire ignited in my belly.

  Jett’s eyebrows rose, and she muttered, “Damn, boy.”

  “Let her?” Arrow repeated with a laugh of disbelief. “Are you listening to yourself, dude?”

  “Yes,” I jumped in, ice in my tone. “Are you?”

  Rowen shook his head but held his ground. “You know that’s not what I meant. It’s not safe for you after dark, Spike. I’m just concerned.”

  “Fine, I appreciate that. But you can’t dictate where I go and when. I’m not a child.” It came out a little harsher than intended, but Rowen needed to know that I was calling my own shots.

  Again he scowled in Arrow’s direction. “I just thought after the shit this demon has pulled already, you wouldn’t be willing to take unnecessary risks.”

  “Me?” Arrow did a double take. His hands clenched into fists, and a shadow drifted lazily around him, like his anger alone had beckoned it. “Unlike you, I don’t try to make decisions for Spike.”

  Rowen shot back, “And I guess that’s what makes you so fucking appealing, isn’t it?”

  Jett glanced at me before easing away a few feet, pulling Sam with her. She leaned against my car, watching them closely. Probably listening to their hearts and smelling their pheromones. Which likely gave her more info on them than I had by merely studying the tension in Rowen’s frame and the thickening shadow wafting around Arrow.

  Arrow held his hands up and shrugged. “I can hardly be held responsible for my appeal. You’ve got it or you don’t.”

  “Right. I guess I underestimated how appealing one-night stands and cocaine can be.” Though rare, this asshole act didn’t look good on Rowen.

  “Could you both shut the fuck up?” I barked. “I do not need this crap from either of you. Instead of taking cheap shots at each other, you could try being helpful.”

  “Or you could throw a few punches and just get it over with,” Jett suggested. “Clearly you both want to. Get it out of your systems, and then we can move on and tackle this little demon problem.”

  Her chill remark had them both staring at the ground, hopefully feeling stupid.

  Wanting to keep the peace, I tried appealing to their good sense. Presuming they had any. “Guys, we need to work together. Your issues are going to divide us if you can’t settle it or let it go. I’d really prefer you just let it go.”

  They glanced at each other, then me. Judging by their expressions they had no intention of letting anything go, but they both knew better than to say so.

  “What do you want from us, Spike?” Arrow asked, momentarily startling me until I realized he meant Wren. “Do you have something in mind?”

  “Yeah, I kind of do.” I scuffed the toe of my boot against an icy patch on the ground. “I’ll be the bait. Lure Wren out. If we can somehow get him to use that dagger, if we could get it away from him and if I could somehow swipe some of his power to give us an advantage, maybe we could use the dagger against him. Cinder said it’s what held him captive all these years. Plunge it in his chest. Done deal. Or something like that.”

  They considered my proposal.

  When they’d been quiet longer than I deemed comfortable, I added, “It’s not foolproof of course, but if any of you have a better idea, I’m all ears.”

  I didn’t add that Cinder had forbade me to do such a thing. Cinder was up to his eyeballs in stress. If I could do anything at all, then I had to try. Otherwise, I contributed nothing. That didn’t sit well with me.

  “I think it’s risky and could get you killed.” Hands shoved into his pockets, pink hair falling in his eyes, Rowen was in a real mood. “I say we keep thinking. There has to be another way.”

  Whether he agreed with me or merely wanted to argue with his brother, Arrow said, “I’m with Spike. Lure the guy into a trap of some kind. He wants her bad enough to come for her eventually. We have to be ready for that.”

  We all looked to Jett. She cuddled in close to Sam to keep him warm. “A trap could work if we can be sure that it’s possible to outsmart a demon as hyped up for revenge as Wren is. It could also be a mistake. The plan would have to be solid. I mean, really solid. Otherwise it won’t be worth the risk.”

  Arrow pulled a cigarette out from behind an ear and sparked it up. Since I quit a few months back, I hadn’t had many cravings. I had one now. And it might have had something to do with watching him slip it between his lips and drag on it until the cherry glowed bright red.

  “We should sit tight,” Rowen insisted. “Wait for Cinder to call the shots. Rushing into something could make things worse for him.”

  “Or it will keep getting innocent people killed until it’s finally Spike’s turn.” A plume of smoke rose up above Arrow’s head. “This is all foreplay to Wren. Once he’s primed and ready, he comes for her. There’s no telling when that will be.”

  Jett studied the brothers, a frown marring her brow. “I say we all sleep on it. Think about it and discuss it tomorrow. Rowen, if you could give Sam and me a ride to his place, that would rock. Arrow, follow Spike home. Make sure she gets there.”

  I tried to catch her eye, but she successfully avoided my gaze. Was she trying to get me alone with Arrow?

  Rowen made no effort to hide what he thought of that plan. “Maybe Arrow should take you guys home, and I’ll get Spike safely back to her place.”

  “Dude,” Arrow muttered but said nothing else. He stood there smoking, waiting for me to make the call.

  This wasn’t extremely awkward or anything. I didn’t want to choose.

  Jett saved me by walking toward Rowen’s car, calling back over her shoulder. “Let’s go, man. I’m hungry. Can we hit a drive-thru on the way?”

  Rowen lingered for a moment before turning on a heel and storming off after her. My shoulders slumped as I watched him go. Couldn’t blame the guy for being upset. I wasn’t loving this either.

  “You ok?” Arrow asked after Rowen got into his car and slammed the door.

  “Yeah… it’s just complicated. You know?”

  “Yeah.” Arrow took another drag on his cigarette and dropped it. He pulled car keys from a pocket. “I know.”

  Getting into my car alone gave me a much-needed moment to just breathe and do a little venting. The headlights of Arrow’s BMW shone in my rearview mirror. He followed me through the city streets to my apartment. All the while I bitched and ranted to nobody about how fucked up this all had gotten.

  I couldn’t decide what distressed me more, the demon playing vengeance games with me, or the brothers ready to kick each other’s asses because I’d formed a bond with each of them. The problem was that Jett had been right about one thing. I knew what Rowen and I were like together, but I didn’t know if Arrow and I could have something. And if so, would it be the right thing?

  Bouncing between brothers didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to play them. Pretending my feelings didn’t exist had been working so far. However, denial never helped anybody. It just put off the inevitable.

  I didn’t have to choose. Maybe it was better not to. A life of singledom wouldn’t be so bad. I guess. Surely I couldn’t be with anyone human and out of the loop. It would be far too dangerous.
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br />   The commitment phobe I was, a relationship wasn’t even on my radar right now. But damn, it sure would be nice to have someone to cuddle up with after an especially hard night of demon bullshit.

  Too bad I couldn’t get past the differences between Rowen and me. I’d tried. But I just couldn’t. Time apart might help us grow and become what the other needed. Then again, maybe not.

  What I hated most was that I cared so damn much. I’d never invested a lot of myself into any relationship before. Because I’d learned early on that I’d just get burned. So why was I still willing to put my heart on the line?

  This time, when I got out of the car at home, I didn’t feel watched.

  Arrow met me in front of the building. “I’ll walk you in, if that’s cool. Unless you want me to take off now.” Totally chill and nonchalant, Arrow expected nothing from me.

  And that was so damn refreshing.

  “Come on.” I waved him along as I yanked open the heavy lobby door.

  I paused near the mailboxes, saying a small prayer as I opened mine. Empty. Well that was a relief.

  “I’m sorry shit’s been so crazy with Rowen.” Arrow followed me up the stairs to the second floor. “I shouldn’t let him goad me, but he’s been a real pain in the ass lately.”

  “I get it. He’s not taking the breakup so well. I guess I’m not either.” The hallway was beyond quiet. I spoke in hushed tones to keep from disturbing the neighbors.

  Black hair fell to hide Arrow’s face, as he ambled along beside me. “Is it what you want though? Maybe that’s none of my business.”

  I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. My keys jingled loudly, and I clutched them tight in my fist to silence them. “I don’t know what I want. No, that’s a lie. I know that I want: someone who won’t make decisions for me. And I want someone who is comfortable with who they are and who I am, including all the ugly parts. I want someone who knows when to push it and when to give me some space.”

  Sticking my key in the lock I shoved the apartment door open and flicked on the light in the entryway. “Sorry, Arrow. I’m just stressed out. It’s been a fucked up few days. Want to come in for a drink or something? Cinder probably left cookies.” We shared a laugh at that. Cinder was known for forcing baked goods upon us as if we were children. I loved it.