Crazy Bitch Read online

  That was the nature of love for us creatures of the night. Anyone who dared to love us put themselves in danger. It was a tough pill to swallow. The truth always was though, wasn’t it?

  * * * *

  I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Sleep had become an uncomfortable place rather than a safe escape. I didn’t do it more than I had to these days. Jez had talked my ear off and stuffed herself with junk food until well after sunrise when at last she began to crash and burn.

  We dragged ourselves upstairs where she retreated into the guest room and I into my bedroom. A hot bubble bath seemed like a great way to relax after facing the human version of Arys and me. The pre-vampire me would have gotten as liquored up as Jez. The current me could have really gone for another nip of Falon, or pretty much any hot-blooded, powerful man.

  Arys. God, how I wanted a taste of him. It had been too long. Sinking down into the bubbles, I closed my eyes and dared to run through some of my favorite Arys memories. Our first night together. The way he said my name, like it was both a blessing and a curse. The fire in his eyes every time he looked at me.

  Slumber stole in. My eyelids grew heavy. The heat of the water made it hard to fight the pull. I tumbled into sleep and right into the dream I’d just confessed to Arys I’d been having.

  I struggled with Arys, fighting to get away as he dragged me close and fought for my neck. It hadn’t happened this way, but my mind refused to acknowledge that. It changed things, making Arys out to be the monster he’d tried so hard not to be. I knew it was my subconscious trying to paint him as the bad guy because, though he hadn’t wanted to kill me, once he went for it, it was the greatest thrill of his entire existence. For some reason, I couldn’t stop punishing him for that.

  During my struggle with Arys, I became aware of a new presence. Odd. The dream didn’t usually rewrite itself. It was pretty much the same every time. As I thought this, my awareness of being inside the dream grew. I wasn’t usually aware that I was dreaming.

  “Really, O’Brien? This is the shit a vampire dreams about? You really are fucked up. Have you considered therapy?”

  I spun around to find Agent Thomas Briggs standing behind me. Arms crossed and brow furrowed in judgment, he looked exhausted, haggard, like he hadn’t shaved in days. Funny how that came across in my dream when he wasn’t physically there. I panicked briefly, checking to ensure that I didn’t appear naked and wet. That would be awkward. Nope. Fully dressed.

  At Briggs’s appearance the rest of the dream froze. Of all those present, only he and I were really there. I wasn’t all that surprised to see him. He was a dreamwalker after all. For all I knew he could’ve walked in my dreams long before this, and I was none the wiser.

  “Briggs,” I greeted him with a good, hard scrutinizing stare. “You look like shit. Are things not well at Hotel Shya?”

  “I’m weary, O’Brien. Mental fatigue. I’ve been trying to get into your head for days. It’s like you never sleep.” Briggs kept his distance, pausing to glance around at the frozen setting. We were standing outside the FPA building, where Arys had killed me and where Briggs had tried to kill me.

  “I try not to.” I gestured to the scene of my dreamscape. “You can see why. So what makes me the lucky recipient of your dream walking skills? You know this makes you less than human, right? Or is it more than human? Some might even go so far as to call you a monster.”

  His presence should have angered me, but it was too funny to be infuriating. I crossed my arms and waited for him to fess up. I was betting that Shya had sent him to do some recon in my head.

  “We don’t have time to fling insults,” he said, waving a hand to dismiss my comment. “Either of us could wake up any time. I came to tell you to stay away from Shya’s party. If you value what life you have left, you won’t attend.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I studied him, trying to determine why he would want to warn me away. “Suspicious, Briggs. What’s this all about? Why do you care if I go to Shya’s party or not? Were you invited?”

  “Yes, but that has nothing to do with anything. He showed me where the party will take place. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s a safe bet that not everyone who attends will make it out unscathed.” He held my gaze, letting me search him for truth. There was no smelling a lie in a dream. Bummer.

  “Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you of all people want me to suffer?” The scenery of my dream was starting to creep me out. I glanced around with lips pursed. “Is there any way to change this? Can I just dream of Hawaii or something? It’s not like I’ll ever get to go there now.”

  Briggs’s cheeks puffed out in frustration, and he flung his hands up. “Dream about whatever you want. But don’t miss the point. If you go to that party, you will wish you hadn’t.”

  I concentrated on changing the backdrop of the dream. Hawaii never happened, although I managed to erase everyone else from the scene but Briggs and me. It was like we were standing outside FPA HQ alone at night, just having a chat. This was surreal.

  “Explain.”

  Briggs glanced over his shoulder, like he was seeing something I was not. “It’s all magic. Shya’s using magic to turn his house into a never-ending maze of challenges and traps. He isn’t going to make this easy on any of us.”

  I had no reason to think Briggs was lying. In fact, I was sure he wasn’t. It sounded exactly like something Shya would do. The demon must be positively giddy with glee over this plan.

  “There has to be a way out though, right? Otherwise that’s got to be breaking some kind of rule.” My mind raced as I considered those who’d been invited. Would I lose one of them because of this? Maybe we shouldn’t all go.

  “The house can be beaten. At least, Shya says so. He didn’t say how.” Briggs squeezed his hands into fists and closed his eyes. Sweat broke out on his brow.

  With unveiled interest, I looked him over, wondering how his ability worked. If Shya’s party didn’t kill us, I’d have to ask him to tell me about it.

  When he opened his eyes again, I said, “You never told me why you’d warn me away from something that could potentially be my doom.” I would never trust this man. Time and time again he’d shown me that I never could.

  He nodded, knowing this as well as I did. “I really do care for your sister. She needs you to be in her life after so many years without you. She needs you to look out for her.” Being the strong, fierce man that he was, Briggs held my gaze when he said, “I was wrong to leave you in the sun. It was a rash decision made by emotion rather than clear sense. I apologize.”

  Huh? Well, that was unexpected. An apology from Briggs? Yeah, I had to be dreaming because there was no way in hell the Briggs I knew would apologize to me, the monster. It blew my mind, so much so that I felt myself starting to slip away, like the shock alone had awakened me.

  I sputtered water. The bath had gone cold, and I’d slipped down, my head plunging beneath the surface. Rude awakening for sure.

  As I vacated the chilly water and wrapped a towel around myself, I pondered the dream conversation I’d just had. Briggs had been there. That part was no dream. Still, could I take his warning and his apology seriously?

  I dried and dressed, slipping into one of Shaz’s t-shirts and a pair of sweat pants. Jez was in my bed. She must have let herself in while I was in dreamland. It wasn’t a surprise. She often sought comfort in my wolf when she was feeling lost and alone. I found comfort in her too.

  Jez snored softly as I climbed in beside her. She never moved, not even when I accidentally slapped her in the face with my wet hair. Stifling a laugh, I got comfy and stared at the ceiling. For hours.

  Could Jez and Shaz handle whatever Shya had planned? Could I? The pay off was good: a future without Shya. Too good to be true really. But that was what he was counting on. By his thinking, most of us would fail, thus it was a small risk for him.

  There would be no convincing them to refuse to attend. I considered it myself before dismissing
the idea. This was my chance to pull one over on Shya. I could feel it. Which meant that Falon, Gabriel, and I all needed to be at that party. Together.

  We would find a way to do this, or we would pay the price of failure. But we had to try.

  Chapter Seven

  “I don’t want to go. What’s a good, legit sounding excuse to get me out of this?” I stared into the mirror, assessing my outfit. Most of the time I didn’t give a second thought to my attire, but tonight was Shaz’s initiation into the Doghead pack. Hence the indecision.

  Jez lay on my bed staring at her phone. She spared me a brief glance before the screen dominated her focus. “Death. That’s the only way you’ll get out of this without looking like an asshole. So suck it up, princess.”

  My reflection pouted, but upon seeing how awful that looked, I forced a neutral face. “Fuck. That’s what I thought. Once was enough death for me for a while. I guess I’m going.”

  As I pawed through my closet for something to wear, Jez read pointless gossip news stories off her phone. It didn’t surprise me that she knew the names of all the Kardashians. I gave her a smile and nod when she paused for a reaction, but I didn’t know who these people were.

  “How about this?” I held up a little black dress. With a plunging halter-neck and a mid-thigh hem, it was nightclub casual rather than ballroom dressy. This was a big deal for Shaz. I wanted to look nice. “Is it too trampy?”

  Jez arched a brow and appraised the dress. “It’s hot. Wear it.” Her phone reclaimed her attention, and I considered beating her with a pillow.

  “I’m not sure hot should be the goal here. I want to look good but…” I stared at the dress with a severe case of indecision.

  “But you don’t want Shaz’s dick to notice. I hear ya. Well, then wear yoga pants, but I think you should rock the dress. You’re the queen of the fucking city. Own it. Let them drool.” Spoken like the feisty wildcat she was.

  She’d nailed it though. I was leery of sending the wrong message to Shaz. Our relationship was in another screwed up state of limbo. There was only so many times I could say no before the hunger for blood and power made me say yes. And that would be dangerous.

  “Queen of the city is a gross overstatement. I’m not on board with the royalty stuff. It’s bullshit.” Briefly I considered saying fuck it and dressing casual. As soon as I hung the dress back up, Jez made a tsking sound.

  No sooner had I slipped off my pants and tank top to shimmy into the dress than Jez interrupted with a, “That bra and panties? Um, no. They don’t even match.”

  “So what? I don’t plan on showing them to anybody anyway.”

  “You’re a wolf. It’s a full moon. You’ll definitely be getting naked. Change them.”

  Having Jez stay with me was a constant reminder of everything I loved about her and everything that drove me crazy. After losing a pretty fierce staring contest, I marched over to the dresser for a change of underwear.

  “Crap. I forgot to do laundry. Do you have a pair of leggings I can bring? I don’t have a change of clothes in the car for after shifting.” I stared at the pile of t-shirts and jeans overflowing the laundry basket. I would have to do something about that sooner than later.

  “Alexa, you’ve got to stop wearing my pants, dammit. Your ass is bigger than mine. You’re stretching them out.” As if to emphasize the point, Jez stretched out on the bed, looking enviably comfortable.

  Since I had her attention, I took the opportunity to flip her my middle finger. “And you wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

  A pillow flew off the bed, nailing me in the side of the head as I tried to adjust myself in the dress. “Dammit, Jez. You should come with me. It’ll be fun.”

  “Like hell it will. I’m not hanging with Dayne’s pack. I’m going to shift with Ky and Coby. Have fun though. I’m sure it will be eventful.”

  That was one way of putting it. Somehow I doubted that running during the full moon with Dayne’s large pack would be boring, although I’d give almost anything for a boring night. They were non-existent these days.

  Once I’d done smoky eye makeup and let Jez curl my hair, at her insistence, I was ready to go. The sun had been down for over an hour. The night was in my veins and, along with it, the call of the moon. My wolf paced inside me, eager to be free of its vampire cage.

  “Don’t tell Kylarai about Shya’s party,” I said, gathering my bag and dagger. “She’ll just worry.”

  Jez nodded and popped a few raspberries into her mouth. While I moved about the kitchen gathering my things, she raided the fridge. At least she’d gotten off my bed and off her phone.

  “After what Briggs told you, even I’m worried. I still want to go though.” Her impish grin brought a mischievous glint to her green eyes. “Being able to call in a favor from a demon could be handy.”

  It certainly could. However, I didn’t think Shya would fulfill a favor without creating some kind of loophole. There was no trusting him.

  I dragged my heels until I just couldn’t put it off anymore. Jez all but shoved me out the door. Because I was afraid of losing control while surrounded by wolves, I fed before going to Doghead. A little nip of a willing victim at The Wicked Kiss wasn’t what I really wanted, but it helped to take the edge off.

  Mortal blood was a necessity, but it lacked the powerful energy I hungered for. Werewolves on the other hand, their blood was rich with supernatural energy. Being around so many of them was going to be tough. I was counting on Shaz and my own wolf to subdue my vampire side.

  By the time I got to Doghead, the rough and tumble bar was overflowing with drunken werewolves gearing up for a rowdy night. The party spilled out into the parking lot. Unable to wait, some wolves were already furry. It was ballsy; that was for sure. We were in the city, albeit in a relatively private warehouse district. Still, it was risky behavior.

  Shaz’s platinum blond hair stood out like a beacon in the crowd. Leaving my dagger locked in the car, I made my way to him, wishing I hadn’t worn a dress as several guys ogled me. Many heads turned at my arrival as they all grew aware of the hybrid in their midst.

  Ignoring their stares wasn’t easy, knowing how easy I could bleed any one of them. The night air was alive with the richness of their scent. So heavy was the atmosphere with heady shifter energy, I could almost taste it.

  “Lex, I’m so glad you came.” Shaz swept me into his arms without hesitation. The wolf and pine scent of him had my wolf in fits. He stepped back to look me over, and I became uncomfortably aware of those he stood with. “You look smokin’ hot.”

  “Thank you.” Once again the lack of blushing proved to be a good thing. I acknowledged Owen and Izzy with a smile. “Hey, guys. How’s it going? Nice to see you both again.”

  Izzy grabbed me up in a hug, squeezing a small yelp out of me. It was unexpected but welcome. Our first meeting had been brief. She’d looked terrible, tired and weak, as she’d fled the FPA lockup. The several days since then had done wonders for her. Her dark skin glowed with health, and her eyes were bright and lively. Tight black curls moved around her head like a cloud, wild and untamed. Izzy was beautiful.

  “You look amazing.” I enjoyed the lovely wolf smell of her with a stifled sigh. Her skin was warm, causing me to wonder what she tasted like. My gaze went to her throat, and I had to force myself to meet her eyes.

  “Only thanks to you,” she said. “I’d still be rotting in that basement if it wasn’t for you.”

  Her praise felt undeserved. That was one act of kindness amid many acts of violence and destruction. I was nobody’s hero.

  Owen and I exchanged small talk, albeit forced and awkward. Though we’d fought side by side not so long ago, the recent incident involving the death of a Doghead wolf at the hands of a vampire had made things weird. He was the Doghead enforcer, the one Dayne sent to clean up messes. I didn’t doubt that one day he might be sent after me.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” Shaz leaned in close, his lips b
rushing my ear as he spoke softly. “Think you can handle this?”

  I wanted to melt into him, to throw my arms around him and taste his kiss. I didn’t. Squeezing his hand, I nodded. “I think so. If that changes, do whatever it takes to keep me from hurting anyone. Especially you.”

  Shouts and whistles filled the parking lot as more wolves spilled out of the bar. Clothes were shed, and two legs became four. Those who remained standing were laughing and joking, the thrill of the moon generating excitement. It was infectious. My wolf strained to break free. Being among wolves was just the therapeutic release I needed.

  We were waiting for the Alpha pair, Dayne and Hanna, to arrive. As we chatted it became evident that Izzy and Shaz had gotten to know one another. Maybe it was my imagination, but did her eyes light up when she looked at him? Yes, I think they did. Was it envy or wishful thinking on my part? I couldn’t decide. Did I want to lose Shaz’s affection to another? Not a chance. Did I want him to waste his life on a vampire? No. He deserved more than that.

  I learned that Izzy was short for Isabelle and that she’d been turned by a former lover. The woman dripped with sincerity, and her smile alone was enough to make me like her.

  A cheer went up from those near the bar door when Dayne and Hanna strolled out. They moved through the crowd, which parted for them like the Red Sea. They were greatly respected here.

  Dayne stopped when he was in the center of the pack. “Who’s ready for a hunt?”

  Shouts and howls echoed through the night in response. A hunt? Dayne had mentioned having pack hunts before, but I hadn’t anticipated being invited to one.

  “Tonight we accept Shaz Richardson into the pack, and we welcome back Izzy, who is living proof that we need to deal with those fucking government bastards.” Dayne paused for another cheer, grinning around the cigar perched between his lips. His pale blue eyes were all wolf, making his appearance more intimidating than it already was. “Owen, bring out our prey.”