Crazy Bitch Read online

  “You won’t tell him a goddamn thing. This is one decision you will not be making for me, Arys. Haven’t you done enough already?” I flung those words in his face with such venom that he flinched.

  “That’s right.” He nodded, glaring through the pain. “Get it all out. Say everything you’ve been holding in. Let me have it.”

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? The chance to be the victim for once. Don’t tell me you’re tired of playing the villain, Arys. The role was made for you.” On and on I went, spewing things in his face that never should have passed my lips. All of the bitterness I’d been harboring, feeding, unable to release, unleashed in a torrent.

  I wanted to hit him because slamming sharp shards of power into him wasn’t good enough. He was withstanding it, taking it and neutralizing the force, because it was his too. But my fists weren’t. They were all mine.

  Clenching my hands into fists resulted in deep cuts where my claws bit into my flesh. I willed them back, trying to coax the wolf down so I could throw another right hook.

  “Come on, love, you can do better than that. You haven’t told me how I ruined your life yet. Or how you wish I’d never come here to find you.” Arys grabbed one of my bleeding hands and, without hesitation, dragged his tongue over the punctures. “God, you taste so fucking good. I will never stop craving you.”

  Holding my hand, he touched the tip of a claw, and heat engulfed my fingers. The claws retracted. Arys surveyed his handiwork with a nod. “There. Now you can finish what you started on my face.”

  I faltered. My anger lost some of its hold, and I stared at him, baffled. Until he slammed me into the bus shelter a few more times. Before I could think to swing, he threw me. I hit the sidewalk hard and rolled. I marveled at the fact that something that would have stunned me once now barely dazed me. On my feet, I found him close, too close. Waiting for more.

  “Don’t stop now,” he taunted. “We’re just getting warmed up.”

  I did want to hurt him, but knowing that he wanted me to gave me pause. As long as Arys was manipulating this entire situation, it wasn’t authentic. It wasn’t real.

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked, hands fisted, body trembling. “It’s just an illusion. You want me to purge my feelings, but I don’t think it’s for me. I think it’s for you.”

  Arys was seeking to atone for his sins against me. He wanted me to hurt him, not to cleanse me but to cleanse him. I understood, and the second he saw that understanding pass behind my eyes, he took drastic measures to keep my fire burning.

  He caught hold of me and pulled me close so our bodies pressed together. Grabbing a handful of my hair, he jerked my head to the side and bared my neck. “Trust me, this is very real.”

  I tried to scream, to beg, but my cry went silent. Panic mingled with rage, creating a cocktail of emotion that stole any semblance of logic or sense. As Arys eyed my artery, I was thrust back into the nightmare, but this time it was real. He was going to make me relive it.

  “No, Arys, please,” I finally shouted, struggling in his arms. “Not like this. Please not like this.”

  “Make it stop.” Low and husky, his voice touched me in a place that knew only terror. “You have the power. Use it.”

  Frantic and flailing, I fought hard to break his hold, but he couldn’t be budged. Power flowed between us, uniting into one massive force. I couldn’t hurt him. We were beyond that point. Now it was just the two of us battling for dominance.

  “Don’t make me go there again. It’s over. We can’t go back.” Each word took effort as I used every ounce of strength to keep those fangs from reaching my skin.

  Muscles strained beneath Arys’s t-shirt as he attempted to still me. Hunger burned in his eyes, along with so many other things, the greatest of which was pain. Pain that I’d inflicted upon him by shutting him out, making him feel like the monster he’d been that night.

  “That’s when everything changed. That’s when you started to hate me. I did what I had to do, what you told me to do, but it planted the seed of destruction, and every night it grows.” Arys was crazed. Madness swallowed him whole, leaving a fragile shell. “You have to go back to that place, and you have to face what it did to you. Purge it all, my wolf, or accept our demise.”

  Determination gave him the surge of strength he needed to overpower me. He went for my neck with wolf fangs bared, and I shrieked. Four sharp stings and he’d pierced my flesh, spilling my blood.

  I was right back inside that night. In Arys’s arms while my blood flowed, feeling within me his deep satisfaction. The heat of his mouth on my skin as he licked and sucked the bloody punctures contrasted with the cold swell of power that cloaked him.

  For so long I’d always been the victim. Arys had always made me the victim. Well, I was done playing that role. It was time for the tables to turn.

  Somehow I managed to get a leg up between us. The force of the kick sent him flying. He landed on the curb, nearly rolling into the street. Passing cars paid us no attention. Nobody in their right mind would interfere in a scrap happening in this part of town.

  My dark side exploded to the forefront, protecting me. I acted without thought, guided by instinct and self-preservation. I didn’t feel any of the hits I threw. He was on the ground beneath me, and I let him have it.

  The sound of someone sobbing broke through the commotion in my head, and I realized that it was me. Arys lay on the ground, taking everything I threw at him. It had all happened so fast.

  “Get up,” I demanded. “Now.”

  I stood up to allow him to get to his feet, and then I hit him. The sound of shattering glass was music to my ears as he went through the side of the bus shelter. Without hesitation I leaped through the shattered side of the shelter after him.

  Arys rolled and got to his feet, facing me with a malicious grin. “That’s my girl. Let it all out. Take what you need from me. Take what you want most.”

  Rational thought had left me long ago. Instinct guided me now. I grabbed him with only one goal left in mind. To claim him. To make him mine the way he’d made me his so many times.

  I crushed my mouth against his in a bruising kiss that poured gasoline on my fire. Both of us were bloody and battered, but none of that mattered. I ripped his shirt in my haste to feel his skin. My hands on his hard body just wasn’t enough.

  When he slid hands down my sides, I shoved them away. It was Arys’s turn to be the victim. This was my game, and I would be the only victor. He wasn’t going down without a fight though, and when he pinned me in the corner of the bus shelter that was still intact, I was enticed by his refusal to play the victim. He was going to make me work for it.

  The heat of his mouth on mine caused my awakened hunger for him to rage out of control. I needed more. I needed all of him.

  With a growl I reached for his jeans, making short work of the thin barrier that separated me from the part of him I wanted most. His straining erection was hard velvet in my hand. He groaned and delved deeper into my mouth with his tongue.

  I shoved him down on the bus shelter bench, uncaring that passing motorists would get an eyeful. Hiking my dress up to my hips, I stripped off my panties and climbed on top of him.

  There was no hesitation, no point where I had to ask myself if this was what I wanted. It was more than that. It was what I needed, to finally be free of the prison I’d put myself in.

  Our gazes locked, and I watched his pupils dilate as I took him inside me. The bench was hard on my knees, glass and metal dug into my skin, but I didn’t care.

  Arys wasn’t just between my legs. He was in all of me, an echo of myself. As I moved atop him, he grabbed my ass and held tight, groaning in my ear every time I slid down the length of him. He leaned in as if he might go for my throat, and with a hand on his chest, I made it clear that I was in control here. There would be none of that.

  The urgency with which I needed him grew. It wasn’t hard enough, fast enough. It just wasn’t enough. No words w
ere needed. Because we communicated with just a touch, Arys knew. Responding to my unspoken command, he held me firmly and stood up, turning so he could slam me against one of the remaining walls.

  The power behind each thrust forced a cry from me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on, enjoying every inch of him sliding deep inside me. Horns honked as cars passed, and Arys chuckled, a seductive sound that felt as good as he did.

  As delicious as it was to unite with him, doing what we did best, there was something missing. There was one more thing I needed to fully claim Arys. Licking my lips in anticipation, I eyed the pulse in his neck.

  Was this what he usually felt? The need to dominate, to take, and to consume? If so it was no small miracle he hadn’t killed me sooner.

  Every thrust was rough, violent and welcome. Threading my fingers into his sexy mess of black hair, I jerked his head to the side and bared fangs. I bit into his jugular, eager for a taste of his powerful blood. It hit my tongue, and I whimpered with the unbridled pleasure of it.

  Arys’s fingers dug painfully into my skin as he held me in place. I held tight to him, running my tongue over the punctures. His blood was intoxicating, tasting like vampire, wolf, and power. It fed my hunger for him even as it was sated, like an endless loop.

  My name was a moan on his lips.

  Pulling his hair, I whispered in his ear, “Harder.”

  My command brought on an instant response. A snarl echoed in his throat as his thrusts became frenzied. There was a desperation in him that I felt too. Our greatest power was found in hurting one another. It was bizarre, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, it made sense, though I couldn’t quite grasp how.

  Drawing on Arys, on everything he was and everything he had to give, I was taken to a place where we were no longer two. Just one. One thriving entity with more potential and power than we dared imagine.

  As climax claimed me I felt it ripple through me, into Arys. There was an explosion. I felt it inside me seconds before it burst outward. The streetlight overhead flickered and went out. The remaining walls of the bus shelter shattered in a crash of glass.

  We fell through the open space behind me and hit the ground hard. Arys turned us as we landed so he shared the jarring impact. It seemed as though I should be gasping for breath, but being a vampire meant I had stamina my mortal self could never have fathomed.

  For a minute we lay there, entangled, staring into each other’s eyes. Everything came rushing back to me, tearing me out of the moment. I shoved away from Arys and clambered to my feet.

  Arys’s face was a mask of blood and bruises. My fists were almost as bad. When I shoved away from him, I fell backward, scrambling out of reach.

  My face was wet with blood tears. My hands ached. I shook my head, unable to make sense of any of this.

  Arys groaned and put a hand to his head as he sat up. He pinned me with an agonized stare. “Can we let this go now, Alexa? Can we please somehow move on? I can’t bear this burden anymore.”

  I pushed to my feet, shaky and broken on the inside. Looking at his battered face, I felt my soul tear in two. What in the fuck had just happened?

  Unable to speak, barely even able to see through the blood clouding my vision, I did what I do best these days: I ran. Down the street like the devil himself was chasing me.

  Only once did I glance back. Arys did not follow.

  Chapter Ten

  I almost collided with Willow when I dashed into The Wicked Kiss parking lot. He put out a hand to steady me so I wouldn’t bounce off his chest.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, though his sudden appearance seemed too perfectly timed to have been a coincidence. His hand went to my neck as he took in the wolf bite. “Are you ok?”

  Of course I was ok. I was a goddamn vampire. It would take much more than a nasty bite to slow me down now. That should have been a good thing, but it felt like a curse.

  “It’s nothing.” There was a bitter taste in my mouth.

  Willow’s touch brought with it the heavy weight of his sinister power. It was oppressive and persistent, chipping away at the shield I threw up against it. I pulled away and headed for my car.

  He fell into step beside me, matching my furious pace. “I’m sorry about that. I know you’re repulsed by me now. I’d be worried if you weren’t. It’s the light that rejects the darkness. Always. The dark just wants to be close, not caring that it can never touch the light. But the light knows better. It always knows.”

  Willow trailed off, staring into space, as if searching for the stars. The city veiled them, fighting to be brighter with its artificial glow. I cast him a sidelong glance, curious about the far away expression that stole over his perfect face.

  Though his strange little ramble had nothing to do with Arys and me, it had everything to do with us. Light and dark could never be one, and yet for us, it was. But it wasn’t. No wonder we were such a hot mess.

  “Don’t be sorry,” I said. Grabbing his hand I gave it a quick squeeze, gritting my teeth as the murky oil spill of energy tried to crawl up my arm. “Just be Willow. Ok?”

  A hand swiped over my face came away bloody with tears. Great. So much for the cool and composed look I’d been going for. Even though I’d feel his approach, I kept glancing back to make sure Arys wasn’t coming. I popped the trunk of the Charger open and grabbed the change of clothes I’d stashed in there.

  Willow watched me with grave concern. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

  Standing between my car and the next so I’d go mostly unnoticed by any parking lot dwellers, I slid my dress off in haste. As I shook open the folded tank top from the trunk, Willow turned away, like it was shameful to see me in my underwear. To him it probably was. I loved that about him. Filled with darkness and still a gentleman. Willow was an enigma.

  “Twin flame conflict. Light versus dark. Two monsters with serious issues going at it on the street. Yada yada yada. Story of my life.” I pulled the tank top on and kicked my boots off before reaching for the leggings. “I think that covers it.”

  “And?” he prompted. “Have you genuinely tried to work out these issues? You can’t run from them forever.”

  I glared at his back as I tugged the leggings up and slipped back into my boots. “You can look now. I’m no longer indecent.” Well, that was debatable. “I thought this whole descent into darkness thing meant you were all badass now. Don’t be such a nag.” I tried for a smile so he’d know I was joking, but my rush to vacate the place made it tight and forced. After I threw my discarded dress in the car, I reached for the door handle.

  “You’re leaving?” With both brows raised, Willow judged that decision. “We should talk about this. You’ve spent too much time in isolation.”

  “Yeah, you’re telling me.” Another glance back toward the entrance of the parking lot. Where was Arys? No, I didn’t want to know. “If Arys and I go another round tonight, one of us isn’t going to walk away from it. It’s better if I leave.”

  Willow regarded me thoughtfully. “Let’s go somewhere. We haven’t had a chance to spend time together. I’d like to show you something.”

  The tiny hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I was wary of going anywhere alone with any demon, but this was Willow. I trusted him. He’d taken the dark for me so that I could retain my light. Without him I would be pure darkness, my flame snuffed out. Instinct warned me to be on my guard, and I would heed that warning. However, I would trust Willow until he gave me a reason not to.

  With my hand on the door, I considered his invitation. The adrenaline was just starting to subside. Sunrise was still hours off. If I left the city, it might give Arys a chance to go to Doghead. I had to make sure that didn’t happen.

  Closing my eyes, I reached out for him, needing to know where he’d headed in the last few minutes. He certainly hadn’t come after me. I couldn’t decide if I was bummed about that or relieved.

  ‘Looking for me already?’ Arys’s voice echoed in m
y head. ‘I’m pretty sure there’s still a few unmarked inches on my face. Would you like to rectify that?’ Despite the sourness of his words, he seemed calm.

  I braced myself against the car, searching for the right response. I didn’t have it. ‘Arys.’ All I had was wrapped up in that one word. He’d broken me. My aching hands still trembled.

  ‘I’m not going to Doghead, if that’s what you’re worried about. I am, however, going to tear this city up. And then I’m going to your house, and I’m not leaving until you can look me in the eyes without flinching.’ As he usually did, he closed the door on me before I could respond.

  “I hate it when he does that,” I muttered. To Willow, I said, “Get me out of here.” Willow went around the car to the passenger side, but I stopped him with a raised hand. My gaze traveled across the parking lot to the sleek black ’73 Camaro. “Wait. Let’s change it up a little.”

  I fetched the Dragon Claw and my shoulder bag, locked my car, and spun the key ring on one finger. The key to Kale’s car hung there, glinting in the slant of streetlight that cut through the parking lot. I wasn’t ready for this, but waiting to be ready for anything meant waiting forever.

  As I crossed the lot to the black beast, I almost changed my mind. The Camaro sat there like a sleeping dragon, always alert while appearing unaware. Though it was just a machine, it was intimidating. Because it was Kale’s.

  Sticking the key in the door lock felt wrong but so damn right. Kale probably wouldn’t want me driving his baby while I was coming down from the rush of that encounter with Arys. But he wasn’t here to stop me.

  I swung the door open and froze as his scent wafted out to slap me in the face. Leather and cologne. Never would I have dreamed that a scent could reach right into my chest and squeeze my undead heart.

  “Alexa?” Willow waited on the other side of the car for me to let him in. “Are you sure you should be driving? You seem unbalanced.”